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Dahlia DeWinters - Author

Quirky Heroines, Happy Endings

Horror Movie Review – The Open House

Title:   The Open House

Genre:   Thriller/Horror

Synopsis:   (from imdb) A teenager (Dylan Minnette) and his mother (Piercey Dalton) find themselves besieged by threatening forces when they move into a new house.

If you’re a fan of horror movies where “the black guy dies first”, this movie is for you.  To begin, let me tell you I watch a LOT of garbage.  As a person who watched horror movies, I have accepted and even embraced the fact that not every movie I screen will be good or even palatable.  Still, even in the worst of horror movies so far, I’ve been able to not be disgusted by them.  Sure, they’ve been dumb, silly and downright terrible, but there was always a little spark of originality or the fact the movie didn’t take itself too seriously which mitigated its terribleness. This is not the case with The Open House.

If, after my dire warning, you still insist on watching this film in a serious way, read no more.  I will be spoiling everything I can.  All the spoilers.  EVERY ONE!

not necessarily in order, either

 From both the poster and the movie trailer, the film promises a mysterious movie in which a weekly Open House may or may not be inviting in a killer.  The film poster, done in bluish-gray “horror movie tones” showed a shadowy figure standing menacingly in a driveway.  Both advertisement mediums indicated a good, scary time lorded over by this scary figure.

When I logged on to Netflix to chill out and watch some reruns of The Office, it popped right up on my feed.  So, I said, what the heck?  Oh, foolish Dahlia. Foolish, foolish, Dahlia. 

 

I should have known something was up when the movie began with a cliche:

Main character suffers a devastating tragedy.
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again:  I’ve seen a LOT of movies (not just horror) and I’m pretty good at recognizing foreshadowing when I see it.  As I writer, I have also been known to use the technique a bit. That being said, foreshadowing is supposed to be subtle, but when Dad dropped an egg and the movie showed it cracking open, spilling out the yolk and white all over the floor, I knew Dad was a goner.  Then, poor old Dad suggests they go get more eggs.  I knew right away, old Dad was gonna be cracked open sooner rather than later.  Sure enough, Dad was gone in the first 15 minutes of the movie.  Bonus cliche points:  the main character sees this happen,

Main character has to relocate because of…whatever issues.

Turns out Dad was a deadbeat and didn’t leave any insurance.  So Mom and son have to go to live in her sister’s house, which she just so happens to have up for sale.  Which brings us to the next cliche.

New location is located in a remote place with spotty cell service.

On their way to the town, the mother is talking on the cell phone in the car. Sounds like she’s trying to straighten out something with the husband’s estate.  Why are you chatting on the phone, driving to a strange place IN THE DARK? Either way she’s driving, in the dark and chatting on the phone.  Then she gets mad because the phone 

cuts out (cue spotty cell service) Suddenly, a mysterious figure appears at the side of the road, causing mom to slam the brakes and holler, “Did I hit him?”

:::::Mouth open::::::  Heffa, did you hear a thump? I’m sorry, but I’ve got to really ding the movie for this.  I can’t with this one.  There was no thump….why the heck did you think you hit him? I began to think this movie wasn’t going to have any legs. But it did have cliches!  Check out the next one.

Explore a creepy basement/attic with a flashlight.

They get to the house.  Bring in their stuff.  Then the mother disappears somewhere and the boy is in the kitchen by himself.  Oh, look there’s a door!  It leads to a basement, WHICH HAS NO LIGHT SWITCH.  No worries, just pick up this handy flashlight and go right on down!  Also, what was up with the maze in the basement?  Stone walls?  Is this Wolfenstein? No rhyme or reason, just wander around down there until your mother calls for you.  The weird thing was, they never discuss how weird the basement was, not even a throw off line.  I tell you what, if I lived in a house like that with a creepy basement, I sure would be on the lookout for, well, creepiness.

Weird/creepy neighbors and/or townsfolk

The characters go into a store or something and an older woman comes up to them.  “You must be Logan….and you are Naomi”.  Ooooo, spooky.  They are on alert.  How does this woman know their names.  “Oh, your sister emailed me with your pictures.”  Okay, why didn’t the sister TELL THEM that?  Cheap scary moment.  Random crazy woman not so crazy…or is she?  You’re back and forth with that, movie. And I despise you for it.

Random scares with chords.

Oh, the tangled web we weave when we try to scare.  Sigh.  The silly jump scares abound. Unfortunately, no cat scares…that at least would have been mildly entertaining.

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Saying “hello” when there’s a weird sound/event.

There’s a scene where Logan, the teenager, is awakened by a honking horn.  He gets up, goes to the window and peeks out.  There is a car sitting in their driveway, with its lights on bright so he really can’t see anything.  He stands there for a while until the car honks its horn.  Logan then GOES OUTSIDE (no coat, no shoes) and tries to see who is in the car.  What the heck?  Then, he goes back to bed and DOES NOT TELL HIS MOTHER. Whaaaa? I dig that they’re kind of estranged because of the father’s death and their poorness, but…..c’mon man!

Not noticing things are out of place/not telling people when weird things happen

You live in a house, an apartment whatever.  You know when doors are open and closed, right?  Well, these two don’t.  The mother goes somewhere in the house, walks past a door.  As we watch, the door opens.  When she comes back, and walks right past the door, she doesn’t close it, nor does she even seem to register that it’s open in the first place.  I just shook my head.  By that time in the movie, I was just watching to see what happened.

Kid has a cereal bowl in his room.  He goes to do something, and finds his cereal bowl in the living room.  Says nothing.

Black guy dies first

So something scary happens, furniture is rearranged when they leave the house.  They come back, are shocked, and FINALLY call the police.  After trying to keep his mother from even talking to this dude earlier in the movie, Kid invites the only other black guy in the movie besides the cop, Chris, over to, I guess, protect them against the creepy stuff. And also to be the first victim of mysterious killer. Yeah.  Bite it, movie, with your oldest cliche in the damn horror movie book.

Note:  There are two black men in this movie.  One is a red herring and dies first, the other is a police officer and has THREE WORDS to say. This is 2018, right?  I thought we were done with the stereotypes and cliches, but I guess not. Bugger off, movie.

As if you didn’t know this already, this movie is not recommended, even for fun.  It’s a dud of a movie, and I truly felt I wasted my time watching it. If you want to see the trailer, I’m sure it’s on YouTube.  I’ve wasted enough of my life on this movie as it is. 

 

Grade:  F-.  You are not approved for a mortgage.

 

Note:  There are a few times where I think I say I’m sorry?  Well, I’m NOT!!

 

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Filed Under: Horror Movie Reviews, Movies--Books--Music--Television, Uncategorized Tagged: bad horror movies, bad movies, dahlia dewinters, dahlia writes, horror, horror movie, horror movie review, netflix, slasher flick, the open house

Blogtoberfest – Horror Movie Review – Friend Request

Title:  Friend Request

Synopsis:  A popular college student graciously accepts a social outcast’s online friend request, but soon finds herself fighting a demonic presence that wants to make her lonely by killing her closest friends.

Genre:  Horror

Opinion:

Let’s face it, most of us live online these days, especially those under 30.  Between online dating and online classes, people find themselves either at the computer or on their cell phones.  People are judged by the number of friends they have on social media or the number of likes they have on a post.  Some people pay good money to acquire followers and/or garner even more interest in their online musings.

Okay, you might be saying, it’s a movie review, Dahlia, get to the damn point.  All right then.  I say all that to say is when we see a post with no likes or a person with a low number of “friends” or “followers”, we assume that means low popularity.  And of course, someone with low popularity online is to be pitied and “felt sorry for”

And now we come to the crux of this movie.  A popular college student receives a friend request from a girl who doesn’t have any friends.  Feeling sorry for her, she “friends” her.  The relationship then degenerated into a sort of stalker/stalkee symbiosis, with the popular college student trying to get away from the cloying, smothering of her new “friend”.

::::::::SPOILER ALERT:::::::::::::::SPOILER ALERT::::::::::::::::SPOILER ALERT:::::::::::::::

After cutting off the friendship, the girl commits suicide and posts the video on the popular girl’s social media page.  This leads to her losing online friends and then DUN DUN DUN, she begins losing friends in real life….TO MURDER MOST FOUL.

Anyhoo, the rest of the movie invovles her tracking down and trying to eliminate the girl’s ghost, who is apparently causing all the trouble.  Will she succeed?  You’ll have to watch the movie to find out.

All in all, it wasn’t the best horror movie I’ve seen, but I thought the premise was interesting.  It is well-acted and well-shot with some disturbing imagery, but I must say the movie does contain an almost paint by the numbers list of horror cliches, including jump scares with stinger chords.  Despite these flaws, it’s moderately intriguing and is a good movie to have on in the background.

Grade:  B-

 


Filed Under: Blogtoberfest, Horror Movie Reviews, Movies--Books--Music--Television Tagged: black geek girls, blogtoberfest, dahlia dewinters, friend request, geek girl, halloween, Halloween fun, horror movie, horror movie review, horror movies, movie geek, movie review, movies, movies that scare

5 Fandom Friday – 5 Films I'm Excited for in 2017

If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time and followed it through all its iterations, then you know how much I love movies.  Not just horror movies, but movies in general.  Usually these movies are a couple years old, if not older, but today you have a special treat.  Since I’m doing Five Fandom Friday, come with me to the future as I discuss the films I’m looking forward to this year.

 

Get Out

From Wikipedia: A young African American man visits his white girlfriend’s family estate where he learns that many of its residents, who are black, have gone missing, and he soon learns the horrible truth when another frantic African-American warns him to “get out”. He soon learns this is easier said than done.

Written and directed by the Jordan Peele, the shorter half of the comedy duo Key and Peele, this film truly presents an interesting premise. What is happening to the Black residents of this town?  And will our protagonist be able to fight against it?  What is IT anyway? I can’t wait to find out!

 

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Alien: Covenant

 

From Wikipedia:  Bound for a remote planet on the far side of the galaxy, the crew of the colony ship Covenant find what they believe to be an uncharted paradise. What the crew discover is a dark, dangerous world, inhabited by the “synthetic” David (Michael Fassbender), the sole survivor of the doomed Prometheus expedition, and monstrous creatures that are hunting them.[3]

 

Okay, so Prometheus was a mess.  Even when I watch it again, I am amazed at the actions of the characters, especially the scientists in the cave.  I mean, I don’t bend over to put my face in a strange dog’s face, and I like dogs, so for those who saw it…yeah.  Don’t do that, stupid.  However, the movie had great special effects and Idris Elba, so there you go. Ridley Scott is directing, so it can’t be all bad.  Can it?   We shall see.

 

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John Wick 2

From Wikipedia:  Legendary hitman John Wick is forced back out of retirement by a former associate plotting to seize control of a shadowy international assassins’ guild. Bound by a blood oath to help him, John travels to Rome, where he squares off against some of the world’s deadliest killers.

Oh, my goodness. Keanu Reeves, guns and a gray pit bull?  How does it get better than that?  I loved the crazy shoot ’em up of the first John Wick and am looking forward to this one. And Laurence Fishburne too!

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Kong:  Skull Island

From Wikipedia: In the 1970s, a team of explorers and soldiers are brought together to venture deep into an uncharted island in the Pacific Ocean – as beautiful as it is treacherous – unaware that they are crossing into the domain of monsters, as well as the mythic Kong, the “king” of the island.

I just realized that I dig monster movies, Godzilla, King Kong, Gamera, Rodan…I’m looking forward to this one.  It takes place in the 70s too, which is reminiscent of the times I’d watch all these films on the 4:30 movie. John Goodman! Sam Jackson! Tom Hiddleston! Also, King Kong himself!!

 

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The Dark Tower

From Wikipedia: Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor) is a young 11-year-old adventure seeker who discovers clues about another dimension called Mid-World. Upon following the mystery, he is spirited away to the land Mid-World where he encounters the lone frontiersman knight Roland Deschain (Idris Elba) who is on a quest to reach the “Dark Tower” that resides in End-World and reach the nexus point between time and space that he hopes will save Mid-World from extinction. But with various monsters and a vicious sorcerer named Walter Padick (Matthew McConaughey) hot on their trail, the unlikely duo find that their quest may be difficult to complete

 

I never read The Dark Tower series by Stephen King, but just the fact of Idris Elba in a long, black trenchcoat sporting a pair of revolvers is enough to see this film.  I’m also intrgued by the fact that it’s a sci-fi, western, fantasy.  You really can’t get any better than that.

Roland Deschain (Idris Elba) in Columbia Pictures’ THE DARK TOWER.

 

So there you have it!  The films I’m excited about for 2017!

What are the movies you’re most anticipatign for this year?

 

Peace, Love, Unity.

Dahlia

 


Filed Under: 5 Fandom Friday Tagged: 5 fandom friday, Alien Covenant, black horror movies, films of 2017, five fandom Friday, get out, horror movie, idris elba, John Wick, Jordan Peele, key and peele, Kong Skull Island, scary movies, the Dark tower movie

Horror Movie Review: 13 Cameras

Title: 13 Cameras
Genre: Horror
Director: Victor Zarcoff
Writers:   Victor Zarcoff
Stars:   Neville Archambault, Sarah Baldwin, Sean Carrigan
IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4392454/

HERE MAY BE SPOILERS

Portions of the movie may or may not be revealed.

 

Synopsis:
Claire and Ryan, a newlywed couple, move into a new house across the country, only to find out that their marital issues are the least of their problems.

 

You can't deny the creep factor
You can’t deny the creep factor

This…ah…..film popped up on my Netflix queue and I clicked on it just to see what was up. I like the “secret watching” horror flick, whether it be through a window or hidden cameras.

Well. Well. Well. (big sigh)

The first thing I do when I turn on these movies is to turn off my over-40 brain and get into the shoes of the protagonist. The, I turn off my writer brain and simply follow the narrative. If I watch a film with any of these personas turned on, I end up either being overly critical toward the characters “I would never do that.” or overly critical toward the writing “I would never write that.”

I want to enjoy/be scared by/wonder at a movie. And I can’t do that when I’m twisting my mouth up in disgust. I will say, however, it is the writer’s business to get the viewer to at least sypathize withe the protagonist.

This movie did not do that. You know that gut feeling you get when you visit a house to buy or an apartment to rent or a place to stay (even if viewing it on a computer)? Most of the time sane people pay attention to that instinct. The female (pregnant) protag in this movie does not. And that’s where I had trouble with the movie.

But, since I was still intrigued by the premise, I watched on. (Cue bigger sigh)

The movie wasn’t a disappointment. It delivered all the creeps and chills you would expect from a movie where a weirdo landlord has installed cameras everywhere. The expected climax at the end takes place in near darkness and is rather scary.

What annoyed me about the movie:

Who moves into a house where you don’t have access to every room and closet? I mean Landlord indicates something is a locked “Owner’s Closet”…..nah, man, you might have drugs or a body or something in there.

If the landlord/handyperson gives you the creeps, why rent the house? The characters gave no overwhelming reason as to why they want the house. Give me a REASON folks, as to why you are gonna rent this damn house from this weirdo. Because I would have been like…umm nope.

The husband was a jerk and the pregnant wife was a whiner. The rest of the actors had little to no personality, leaving you to focus on the creepy landlord.

And the ending. Sorry, give me a break. I don’t mind suspending disbelief, but come on now. That ending required me to surgically remove my brain.
I won’t go on and on about the film. I will say the actor playing the landlord was excellent in his role. He gave me the shivers through the TV screen.

It’s on Netflix, so feel free to watch….but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Grade: D – Watch it if you’re bored and need a distraction.

 

 


Filed Under: Horror Movie Reviews, Uncategorized Tagged: asbestos, black girl nerds, chase, david caruso, eerie setting, horror movie, mental hospital, movie geek, movie review, scary doctor, session 9, thriller movie review

Horror Movie Review: Session 9

Title: Session 9
Genre: Horror
Director: Brad Anderson
Writers:   Brad Anderson, Stephen Gevedon
Stars:   David Caruso, Stephen Gevedon, Paul Guilfoyle
IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0261983/

HERE MAY BE SPOILERS

Portions of the movie may or may not be revealed.

 

Synopsis:
Tensions rise within an asbestos cleaning crew as they work in an abandoned mental hospital with a horrific past that seems to be coming back.

Session 9As you can probably tell, I do love some movies.  Older movies, awesome.  Newer movies, not so much.  I take that as a sign of the times.  Most of the movies do not target my demographic as a woman of a certain age, so I don’t fault them in the fact that they don’t reach me.  I’m no longer part of the teenage early twenty crowd, and many of the actors I admire and look for in a film are, gulp, retired.

But sometimes there comes a movie that’s not so flashy, not so over-promoted to the point where you’re sick of it.  It’s a quiet movie someone mentions on social media and gives just enough hints to draw one’s interests.

Session 9 is one of those movies.  I saw a online friend of mine mention it in a post, and I had to check it out.

David Caruso is the biggest name in this movie.  I’m no Caruso fan, but “abandoned mental hospital” had me hooked right away.

The film involves an asbestos removal crew comprised of pretty ordinary Joes.  The company seems to be on the edge of folding – there is a lot of talk about shut downs and how the asbestos business is drying up – regular folks with regular problems and families.  The catalyst is the mental hospital where all these bubbling personal issues come to a head.

While I do enjoy the movies which take the most cliched characters of all time and dump them into trouble within the first ten to twenty minutes of running time, there’s something to be said about a slow bulid of horror/disquiet coming at the expense of a character who works for a living and hefts a beer at the end of the week.  Chances are, if you asked this guy if he believed in ghosts or spirits, he would laugh in your face.  The only thing this guy believes in is a steady paycheck.

This is what’s at play here in Session 9.  These are hard working men, barely able to pay their bills and the air of desperation to finish the job in record time is thick around them.  However, the mental hospital (much like the Overlook Hotel), has other plans for them, and these plans have nothing to do with asbestos abatement.

The setting couldn’t be a better one.  The hospital is  eerily frozen in time, as if everyone was ushered out of there at once, with no time to pack their things or tidy the rooms.  Some of the patients rooms still have newspaper clippings and disturbing illustrations pasted to the peeling walls.  Operating rooms still hold the tools for surgeries other procedures performed on the mentally ill at that time.

The performances by the (mostly) male cast are quite good, and their working class chatter and sniping at each other rings authentic, adding another layer of reality.  I mean, this hospital is just a place where they’re taking out the asbestos, right?  There shouldn’t be anything to fear….just another job that might put them in the black for the time being, right? Right?

I won’t give too much of the movie away, but suffice to say Session 9 delivers on creepiness, shadows, jump scares and gross-out factors.  It’s slow,  but it’s steady and satisfying.

 

Grade:  A:  recommended!!

 

 

 


Filed Under: Horror Movie Reviews, Uncategorized Tagged: asbestos, black girl nerds, chase, david caruso, eerie setting, horror movie, mental hospital, movie geek, movie review, scary doctor, session 9, thriller movie review

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