Horror Movie Review – Wrecker

Title: Wrecker
Genre: Horror
Director: Michael Bafaro
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4227282/

This movie almost WRECKED my marriage. (See what I did there?) My husband had the day off and I suggested we watch a movie.

“Hey, we’ll watch this movie. It’s terrible, but it’ll be fun! We’ll have a few laughs!”

Famous last words.

I’ve seen some horror dreck in my lifetime. I’ve watched the Friday the 13th movies and stuff that I can’t even recall I’ve seen because it’s been so terrible. But I’ve been able to laugh and point and giggle about the director and/or writer being awful. Or awful acting. Sometimes, the movie is bad, but you can see the actors are having fun, so it makes up for it.

This was not the case with this movie. This movie was just bad with no redeeming qualities. None. Wait. I did love the red Mustang and some of the shots were gorgeous. I can say that. But I don’t watch a horror for its gorgeous shots. Really, I don’t.

Let me give you a little overview. Being a woman of a certain age, I have seen a ton of movies. I know most of the tricks, the cliches and the character tropes. And I deal with them, because, let’s be honest, there is nothing new under the sun. And that’s okay.

You know what’s not okay? This movie.

So it starts out, some cross country trip. Blonde girl is nice, brunette is nasty. She’s

drinking, pretending to smoke (As an ex smoker, I can tell a true inhale. You gotta savor that smoke to get that nicotine hit), flashing her boobs, etc. Meanwhile the driver, the good girl blonde is telling her to calm down. Okay, look, blondie, you knew your girl was out of control before she got in the car, so why all the peeved admonishments?

Side note: The poster? Where it says ‘you stop, you die’. They stopped plenty of times and no matter how much I wished……well. Movie poster is a liar.

Anyway, they somehow anger some random tow truck driver and he starts messing with them. I would go on, but even thinking about the movie makes me tired. Suffice it to say many stupid things happen and then it’s over.

Another side note: This second poster? Talking about ‘a wrong turn’? This is also a lie. They took a shortcut ON PURPOSE.

I’ve seen Duel. I’ve seen Joyride. Both were way better and Duel was made in the EARLY seventies. In Wrecker, the acting is terrible. The choices the characters make are ridiculous and make no sense. And…the whole movie had my face screwed up.

My husband was not pleased. What a waste of 70 odd minutes.

Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

Grade: F
Watch or not to watch?: Don’t bother. It’s not even bad enough to have fun with.

Music Monday – Top 5 Songs – The Police

There were five Police studio albums released between 1978 and 1983. I know this because I owned them all. For Music Monday, let’s take a trip down memory lane and name my favorite track from each of these studio albums.

Outlando D’Amour was the first album released by The Police. They “broke out” with the hit “Roxanne”. I don’t need to go into the whole story now, everyone knows what the song is about. However, while I did like Roxanne, my oh-so-favorite track from this album is “So Lonely”.

Reggatta de Blanc

Released in 1979, the hot “hit” from this album was Message in a Bottle. While I do love Message in all its iterations (the acoustic version is especially stirring), here’s my go to from this album:

Zenyatta Mondatta

The song “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” hit the U.S. charts with a bang and spent three years there. I guess….people liked it? 😉 The songs did have staying power. My personal favorite, because I know you’re waiting for it is…Shadows in the Rain. Who can resist a song that begins “Woke up in my clothes again this morning/Don’t know exactly where I am…”

Ghost in the Machine

Their fourth studio album. My pick: Secret Journey

Synchronicity

The final studio album before Sting broke out on his own, although after listening to some of the early “demos” on YouTube, it seems that The Police was mostly Sting and two guys. Regardless of who wrote what when and where, my pick from this album is Tea in the Sahara.

There you go, there it is…my five favorite Police songs!

Peace, Love, Unity

Dahlia

Terrific Tuesday – Best Book to Movie Adaptations

Greetings and salutations!

Today I’m going to talk about some of my favorite book to movie adaptations – just like it says on the tin. I love books and I love movies, and when the two come together, it touches a chord in me that cannot be duplicated. I won’t tarry on a long-winded introduction: let’s get to the meat of the post, shall we?

What makes a book to movie adaptation terrific? If the movie captures the essence of the book, the characters and offers the same or improved ending from the book. Mind you, a terrific adaptation doesn’t necessarily mean the movie sticks as close to the book as white on rice, nor does it mean the movie leaves you with a terrific feeling. It just means that as a reader of the book, you’re satisfied with the spirit of the movie.

Here, in no particular order, are my top ten terrific movie adaptations.

We Need to Talk about Kevin – Tilda Swinton can make anything good. If you haven’t read the book yet, watching the movie gives you a taste of the awful foreboding of the book. You know something is going to happen, the question is just. when. This movie will not make you comfortable.

Jurassic Park – Now this movie was a bundle of fun for me. Yes, the book was a lot more techincal and dense to get through, but the screen writers managed to sprinkle in the genetics along side the breathtaking spectacle of the dinosaurs on scree. An excellent film that I watch every time it comes on television.

The Godfather – The book was good, but it did include a few side stories that detracted from the main narrative. The movie slashed and burned enough of those side stories and emphasized the family saga. It helped that the author, Mario Puzo, had a hand in writing the screenplay.

The Silence of the Lambs – What more can be said? The movie made me read the book, and I wasn’t disappointed.

To Kill a Mockingbird – The actors (Robert Duvall’s first screen role as Boo Radley), made the book come alive. The only person I missed in the movie was Calpurnia. Her part in the book seemed to be larger and wittier.

No Country for Old Men – The Coen Brothers helped bring Cormac McCarthy’s story to life. Both movie and book complement each other.

The Remains of the Day – I went to see this in the movies and I did have tears. Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson really bring Kazou Ishiguro’s story to life.

Wiseguy – I never met a gangster movie I didn’t like. Re-titled “Goodfellas”, the movie actually improves on the newspaper style reporting of the book and brings the characters to life in blooming color.

The Shining – While I did not care for the character death in movie, I really felt that Kubrick’s adaptation captured the essence (yes, that word again) of the book and the frightening visuals and hidden clues are quite effective.

Requiem for a Dream – This is a film that I never wish to see ever again. A gut-wrenching odyssey of three separate stories of drug addiction, Requiem for a Dream is a visceral experience that leaves the viewer stunned. The book is a little more “in your face” than the movie is, but both are effective.

Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption – Renamed as The Shawshank Redemption….well, I’m pretty sure that you’ve all heard of the movie, yes?

Into the Wild – Written by Jon Jon Krakauer, who freaked me out with Into Thin Air, about folks climbing Mt. Everest, Into the Wild is the story of a young man who wanted to live off the land in the wilds of Alaska.

Music Monday – Goth Classical Music

Hey! It’s Music Monday!

There’s nothing I like better on a cold winter’s evening (and sometimes in the summer too) is a cup of Irish coffee and some dark classical music. Whether it be a mournful aria or a draggy dirge in a lovely minor key, the dulcet tones of a sorrowful violin or the lamenting mezzo-sorprano.

I thrive on that shit.

Forget about the dog dying in movies or some drama on television. Youwant to bring a tear to my eye, play me a tune in a minor key. Those gloomy chord progressions will get me every single time.

Here we go.

Dido’s Lament – Dido and Aeneas, Henry Purcell

In operas, someone always dies. Here, it’s Dido. She’s taken poison because her great love, Aeneas, has abandoned her. Grab the tissue and take a look at her first lines: (Belinda is her lady in waiting)

“Thy hand Belinda….darkness shades me….on thy bosom, let me rest…
More I would….but death invades me….Death is now a welcome guest….”

And the great, greatc Jessye Norman brings these lyrics right to your doorstep.

“Remember me….but ah! Forget my fate…..”

Goosebumps!

Moonlight Sonata – Beethoven

One of the comments on this video (paraphrase): “I listen to this in the dark with a cup of tea…like a psychopath”

Frederic Chopin – Waltz in A minor

Sergei Rachmaninoff – Prelude, Opus 2 #2 in C sharp minor

John Williams – Theme from Schindler’s List, Performed by Itzhak Perlman

Go ahead. Get the tissues, sob, breathe, then touch up your black eyeliner and tighten the laces on your Doc Martens. I hope you enjoyed my little gothy list of classical songs.

1Love

Peace, Love, Unity

Dahlia

Blogtoberfest – Urban Legends to Keep You Up at Night – Part 1

We all know ’em, don’t we? The friend of a friend of my cousin who….they all start out that way and always end badly for that sort-of person we kinda know. They even made a movie (or three) about it, then there was that television series that acted them out (badly) for you.

Let’s talk about a few of these, shall we? And remember to leave the light on….

The Clown Statue Murderer: An Urban Legend

The story of the clown statue murderer is an urban legend. It is not a true story but can spark fear in anyone who reads it. It has been passed around as a chain letter online since 2004.

Here is the story:

“A girl in her teens is babysitting for a family in Newport Beach, Ca. The family is wealthy and has a very large house – you know the sort, with a ridiculous amount of rooms. Anyways, the parents are going out for a late dinner/movie. The father tells the babysitter that once the children are in bed she should go into this specific room (he doesn’t really want her wandering around the house) and watch TV there.

The parents take off and soon she gets the kids into bed and goes to the room to watch TV. She tries watching TV, but she is disturbed by a clown statue in the corner of the room. She tries to ignore it for as long as possible, but it starts freaking her out so much that she can’t handle it.

She resorts to calling the father and asks, “Hey, the kids are in bed, but is it okay if I switch rooms? This clown statue is really creeping me out.”

The father says seriously, “Get the kids, go next door and call 911.”

She asks, “What’s going on?”

He responds, “Just go next door and once you call the police, call me back.”

She gets the kids, goes next door, and calls the police. When the police are on the way, she calls the father back and asks, “So, really, what’s going on?”

He responds, “We don’t HAVE a clown statue.” He then further explains that the children have been complaining about a clown watching them as they sleep. He and his wife had just blown it off, assuming that they were having nightmares.

The police arrive and apprehend the “clown,” who turns out to be a midget. A midget clown! I guess he was some homeless person dressed as a clown, who somehow got into the house and had been living there for several weeks. He would come into the kids’ rooms at nights and watch them while they slept. As the house was so large, he was able to avoid detection, surviving off their food, etc. He had been in the TV room right before the babysitter right came in there. When she entered he didn’t have enough time to hide, so he just froze in place and pretended to be a statue.

Yeah. As I said earlier on a discussion group, between IT and John Wayne Gacy, I don’t have any time for clowns.

And another to make your hair stand on end. This is an oldie but a still a goodie:

The Killer in the Backseat….

One night a woman went out for drinks with her girlfriends. She left the bar fairly late at night, got in her car and onto the deserted highway. After a few minutes she noticed a lone pair of headlights in her rear-view mirror, approaching at a pace just slightly quicker than hers. As the car pulled up behind her she glanced and saw the turn signal on — the car was going to pass — when suddenly it swerved back behind her, pulled up dangerously close to her tailgate and the brights flashed.

Now she was getting nervous. The lights dimmed for a moment and then the brights came back on and the car behind her surged forward. The frightened woman struggled to keep her eyes on the road and fought the urge to look at the car behind her. Finally, her exit approached but the car continued to follow, flashing the brights periodically.

Through every stoplight and turn, it followed her until she pulled into her driveway. She figured her only hope was to make a mad dash into the house and call the police. As she flew from the car, so did the driver of the car behind her — and he screamed, “Lock the door and call the police! Call 911!”

When the police arrived the horrible truth was finally revealed to the woman. The man in the car had been trying to save her. As he pulled up behind her and his headlights illuminated her car, he saw the silhouette of a man with a butcher knife rising up from the back seat to stab her, so he flashed his brights and the figure crouched back down.

The moral of the story: Always check the back seat!

Yes, they’re (mostly) not true, but don’t they give you a shiver?

Pleasant Dreams!

Dahlia