Horror Movie Reviews

Horror Movie Review – Home Sweet Home

Title: Home Sweet Home
Genre: Thriller/Horror
Trope: A killer in the house
Director: David Morlet (As David Morley)
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2348394
Tagline: Your house, my rules.

I don’t have much to say about this movie. Here’s the plot, according to IMDB:

A young married couple comes home from a date night to discover that they are imprisoned in their own house with a methodical killer inside.

Film opens, you get this set up of a dude going around someone’s house, nailing the windows shut etc. OOOO, boy, you think, he’s going to get a bunch of partying teens in this house and knock ‘em off one by one. Score!!!

Look, I’m no movie snob. I enjoy a good hunt-em-down and kill ‘em flick. But this….this movie was so empty that I could barely make myself finish it.

Basically, it’s what’s on the tin. A young married couple (who didn’t look that young to me) come for a weekend at this house and get trapped inside with a killer.

Whatever message the filmmaker was trying to send, I didn’t get it. The movie was a big yawn for me.
I found some of the victims’ actions strange and inexplicable. I found myself asking why don’t they do this…or that? And why didn’t they do this? (I’m being deliberately vague so as not to give anything away.)

At the end I just sat for a bit, thinking….okaaaaaay, so that’s it?

I will say that the killer’s mask creeped me out to no end and I was watching this in the middle of the day.

Gore: It was rather bloody in parts. Not Jason bloody, but bloody enough. I’d say at least 2 or 3 bottles of Karo Syrup and red food coloring were used. (Do they use corn syrup for blood anymore or am I dating myself?)

Animal Lovers: There is a cat in the movie. He/she is not harmed.

Grade: D
Watch or not to watch?:
I wouldn’t give this a second viewing. Maybe I’m missing some deeper meaning here, but I don’t think so. The movie was devoid of any character to root for or dislike. I found myself glancing away from the screen torn between not wanting to give up on the movie and just turning it off. I should have turned it off – I wouldn’t have missed much.

Horror Movie Review: Annabelle

Title: Annabelle
Genre: Horror
Director: John R. Leonetti
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3322940/
IMDB synopsis: A couple begins to experience terrifying supernatural occurrences involving a vintage doll shortly after their home is invaded by satanic cultists.

By now you know that I am not the strongest of heart when it comes to watching horror movies, but I watch them anyway because apparently I’m an idiot. Also, I like to be scared.
I started Annabelle waaaay early in the morning because I can’t stand possessed doll movies. In the 1970s, I was scared to DEATH of the Magic trailer because of that weird-looking ventriloquist doll. I rewatched that movie a couple of months ago and it’s still kinda scary.

My list of scary movie dolls or doll type things:
Poltergeist (That damn clown!)
Child’s Play (Only the first one)
Magic (see above)
The Puppetmaster (Ugh, I got chills just typing that.)

But I digress, as a woman with a deep fear of scary movie dolls will do.
Given the creepy movie poster, I figured that Annabelle would join the list.

It didn’t.

First of all, I was annoyed at the main character’s name…..Mia. Can we say Mia Farrow from Rosemary’s Baby? Come on folks….of all the names in the world. Anyhoo, our lovely Mia is given the most evil looking doll ever in the history of movies by her super bland doctor husband and of course, she loves it. I’m like…honey, get yourself an American Girl doll please and thank you.

So la dee dee la dee da, strange things begin to happen of course. She has the baby and they are happy for a bit, then ish starts to jump off, as we all knew it would.

Bonus points for cool sixties/seventies clothes, hairstyles and call backs.

Boo points for the Magical Negro trope, where the Black lady is not only knowledgeable about everything that is bothering poor Mia and the whole curse thing, but sacrifices herself via suicide to save the white couple.

Come
On
Now

We’re not through with this trope yet? And the sad part was, I saw it coming twenty miles away. The even sadder part was the writers didn’t even make an effort to make the journey interesting.

I was also ticked Evelyn (the Black woman) owned a bookstore. Who’s going to run it now that she’s dead? Dammit!

Oh, and the doll is REAL and resides in this weird museum that I saw on Mysteries at the Museum. But in real life it’s a Raggedy Ann doll. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse….

Grade: D
Not even entertaining enough to laugh at or have fun with. Annoying cliches. However, there were good jump scares and some blood.
Watch or not to watch?: Watch it if you like, but even chicken-me wasn’t scared. I guess I was just too busy rolling my eyes.

Sidenote: Look how similar the doll is to the dummy from Magic (1978). And yes, that’s Sir Anthony Hopkins.

Movie Review – Shrew's Nest

Title: Shrew’s Nest
Genre: Horror, Thriller, Drama
Director: Juanfer Andrés, Esteban Roel
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3417756/

Synopsis according to IMDB:
Spain, 1950s. Montse’s agoraphobia keeps her locked in a sinister apartment in Madrid and her only link to reality is the little sister she lost her youth raising. But one day, a reckless young neighbor, Carlos, falls down the stairwell and drags himself to their door. Someone has entered the shrew’s nest… perhaps he’ll never leave.

This little gem from Spain took me by surprise. As always, I started in the morning, so that any residual fright would wear off by the time I went to bed. Yes. I love horror movies, but I’m the world’s worst scaredy-cat.

(One time I watched Jeeper Creepers 2 for the first time and went to bed. I kept expecting the Creeper to come out of my closet. And no, I’m not 12.)

Anyhoo, this film is in Spanish with English subtitles, so I had to pay close attention to the screen in order to understand what was going on. Let me tell you, I’ve seen a ton of movies working with the same material, but this one presented it in a new and thoroughly shocking way, at least for me. The actors kept the…some may say “tired” plot going until its climax.

It is a psychological drama combined with a horror/slasher so there’s plenty of dark, spooky shadows and sticky blood for all.

The visuals are top notch and, well, the 50s fashion and hair I just loved.

Grade: B+

Watch or not to watch?: Catholic guilt and sin, religious imagery, blood and crazy ladies your thing? Watch it. It has echoes of both Misery and Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. And as I said above, if you have watched enough movies, you know where the movie is going and where it has been….but enjoy it for what it is, spooky, Gothic and damned bloody!

Movie Review: The Battery

Title: The Battery
Genre: Horror: Zombies
Director: Jeremy Gardner
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2272350/

In a land ravaged by the undead, Ben and Mickey must first learn to survive each other.

It’s a zombie movie. Of course I’m going to watch it, either through my fingers or like a boss, but I’m going to watch it. I liked the movie poster. I’m still a fan of the baseball move to whack a zombie skull, so to see one of the characters holding a bat…I was pretty pleased.

This is not your typical zombie movie with the characters hiding in an attic or basement, surviving on canned food and sniping at each other. Rather, this is an open movie: regaling us with the beauty of the New England countryside in summer while also reminding us of the danger that lurks around nearly every corner.

The director, Jeremy Gardner, is also one of the main characters named Ben. Ben has an epic beard and is the alpha of the two males. The second main character, Mickey, is the softer type. He walks around with headphones on, keeping the music going in his ears as he follows Ben through the woods and along the roads, basically allowing Ben to make most of the decisions and all of the zombie kills.

Ben’s growing impatience with Mickey’s refusal to cope with their reality leads to some interesting scenes that I won’t spoil here.

Overall, this is more of a character study of the two men and how they react to these new circumstance than a run-for-your-life post apocalyptic movie.

Special Effects: The effects are not the point here. If I read correctly, Gardner spent about 6k to make the film in two weeks. Don’t go into this expecting realistic splatter and gross-out gore.

Watch or not to watch?:
If you like quiet, self-contained movies and the dynamic of male relationships, then you’ll like this movie. If you’re looking for blood, gore, brains and breathless chases, you will find this movie boring.

Trivia: In baseball, the term battery refers collectively to the pitcher and the catcher, who may also be called batterymen^[1] or batterymates of one another. (wikipedia.org)

Grade: A minus