Dahlia DeWinters - Author

Quirky Heroines, Happy Endings

Treat Your Art Like Guys Treat their D*cks

Whoooa! What’s going on? This post is primary addressed to writers, but is applicable for anyone who creates.

Writers!  Yes, I’m talking to you:  Treat your Writing like Men treat their D*cks

I’ve read so many self-deprecating writer speak that it ceases to be funny. “I’m not any good.” “I write crap.” “No one likes my work.” “Why am I doing this?”

Stop the madness, because personally I’m sick of it. And don’t get all up on your high horses, “Humph. Who does Dahlia think she is?” Nope, don’t even go there because I used to feel the same way. Let’s take a look.

Do you:

  1.  Whimper and cringe as each word appears on the page, knowing deep in your writerly heart that there’s no way that word “apple” you just wrote,  will past muster with the frowning, critical public?
  2.  Weep at editor’s marks, not seeing them as a helpful improvement, but as a branding of how awful your writing is?
  3.  Say, “I can’t believe I just wrote that. People will think I’m a horrible person.”

Welcome to the world of self-deprecating writers. Have a seat.  Sit down.  Have a drink.  Now that you know you’re there, here’s how to get out of it.

Remember Steve Harvey’s crap book/movie “Act like a Lady, Think like a Man?” Well, I can’t stand anything about Steve Harvey, but even a broken-ass clock is right twice a day. The grain of truth in this title can certainly be applied to writers.

“Treat your writing like a man treats his d*ck”

This is a bare bones joke, but you’ll get the meaning:

An elephant gets a thorn caught in his foot, and a mouse happens to pull it out. To show his gratitude, the elephant says he’ll do any favor that the mouse wants. The mouse says “I’ve always wanted to f**k an elephant”. The elephant says o.k., the mouse lifts the elephants tail and starts going to town. About that time a coconut falls out of a tree and bonks the elephant on the head. The elephant says “Ow!”, and the mouse says something like … “That’s right, bitch, you’re going to take it no matter how much it hurts!”

That mouse just KNEW  he was packing a heavy package.

I have two boys, and from the time they knew what was going on between their legs, it was like a pop gun to them. When those pants came off, the fun began. “Pew, pew!” they’d say, grabbing it and running around pointing it at everyone. It got to the point where my daughter (in between them in age) bumped her crotch on something and cried, “I hurt my penis.” The influence is strong, folks. Not only could you pee on the run, but you could shoot people with it. How handy!

While I am not a man, I’m married to one and asked him about the mystery of the penis. Men love their penises, he told me. They even let them take the lead in decision making every once in the while.

I was amazed. The penis, making life-altering decisions? That just goes to show how very valued and important they are.

Which brings me back to your writing. No matter how big, how small your writing may be, you need to treat it like the best thing that you’ve ever done on paper. Of course, it can always get better, but those words on the screen are pretty darn good right now. Because they’re THERE.

I had a dream that I had lunch with George W. Bush. (He’s a friend in my head, by the way.) He looks like the type who would bring his own bottle to a lunch and pick up the tab without hesitation. Anyhoo, he and I were having lunch (at a very nice restaurant, by the way,) and he said to me, “As long as you act like you know what you’re doing, people will believe anything you say.”

I.Kid.You.Not. That’s what W said to me. And why shouldn’t I listen to a two-term President? Bonus points: He has a penis.

So, writers. Treat your art like your very own penis. Adore it, love it, find ways to make it better. Polish it, rub it down, make it happy. Above all, do not denigrate or belittle it. As you do, others will follow suit.  Once you do this, you will gain more confidence. You will gain more creativity. You will become true to your art and will be so much better for it.

 

1Love

Dahlia

Whatever Wednesdays – Mental Clarity for Writing

If you are a writer with a full time job, or have extra duties in the home, I bet you sometimes wish that you could lock yourself in a closet and use that time to write, write, write.  Only when you get that time, you find yourself looking at a blinking cursor on a blank, white page.

I am a stay at home mom and my children are in school all day.  That means that I’ve got tons of time to write, right?  No.  There are dishes to be done, floors to be vacuumed, laundry to be done and let’s not forget the dog that thinks her task is demanding that you pet her every time you sit down at the computer.

There’s also the distraction of those awful daytime television shows and those tons of movies that you’ve recorded and haven’t had a chance to watch. And, there is always the lure of that huge, empty bed and the promise of “I’ll be a lot fresher if I take a nap.”

As Public Enemy said, “Don’t Believe the Hype”.

Creativity is something that cannot be forced. But it can be nurtured.

Proper brain function is important for every aspect of life, but especially when you are trying to focus your thinking and your creativity for a certain amount of time.  When you are a busy person in general, the time that you spend at the computer, creating, must be productive.

What’s my secret?  Herbs!  I’m a crunchy, granola, hippy type of gal and I believe in herbs, essential oils and supplements.

Herbs won’t make you produce faster, but I have found that it improves my concentration and keeps me focused on the task at hand.

Now, I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on television, consult a medical care professional before you take my advice.  However, some of the herb supplements I use for mental clarity are “Better Brain” by Gardens of Life.  It’s an extra bonus because you also get some Omega 3 fatty acids.  And who can’t use more Omega 3 fatty acids?

You could also try Himalaya Herbal Healthcare, MindCare, as well as Eclectic Institute Fresh Freeze-Dried Ginkgo Gotu Kola Combo.

Again, consult your doctor before beginning any herbal supplement regimen.  Just because the supplements are natural doesn’t mean that they are right for everyone.

Happy writing!

Cleanse Your Headspace

Some writers take a break from writing and go on social media. I don’t find social media relaxing.  In fact, it clutters up the mind and may even stunt creativity.

The occasional peek into asocial media platform can turn into following conversations that more often than not ended with name-calling and pointing nasty fingers. The quick scan of another social media feed included more politics than I cared to consume on a daily basis. It was becoming more difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff and my space, the area of my spirit I used for creativity, was suffering.

I don’t go in for controversy, detailed celeb news or negative speak. I was always one to believe actions speak louder than words. See something wrong? Do what you can in the moment. I believe that peace can overcome war. I believe in protecting my headspace.

Being an writer in the genre I chose, I understand there will always be some controversy. Someone doesn’t like this book. A reviewer gives an unfair reading of an author’s book. Readers lash out at authors. Authors lash out at readers.

I’m not going to say “can’t we all just get along”. Nope. I can only control my actions.


So, I cleaned house. I hid the posts that gave me agita. I cleared my feeds and added positive vibes, rather than negative ones. I loaded my playlist with meditative music and pulled out my mala beads.

It’s so important to stay focused on the things which have true meaning in one’s life: family, friends and the beauty of life itself. It’s very easy to get caught up in the raging tides of every day, especially when the Internet can bring it right into your home.

Certainly, this is not a post that advocates ignoring everything around you and navel-gazing for peace. There is a time and a place for everything. When you feel yourself become overwhelmed, then it’s time to take a break. It’ll wait, right?

#MotivationMonday – 5 Ways to Kickstart Your Muse

We all have those days where we’d rather be writing, but nothing is flowing. Instead we putter around, catch up on programs or simply sit and stare at a blank page. Believe me, you’re not alone. It happens to everyone.

I don’t like wasted time, because you never get it back. I try not to dither away time on social media either, because that’s a hole you can get sucked down and not emerge until three hours later. While I do love the cat vids and the cool memes, there’s a time for work and a time for play.

This brings me to the point of my post. Sometimes inspiration doesn’t sit waiting for you, you have to run it down and beat it into submission. Inspiration is wonderful. Inspiration can get you writing 5k a day. However, when inspiration decides to take a little break, what do you do?

You jump start your creativity. You can do it! Here’s seven quick ways to get that brain churning.

1. Listen to music – Remember “The Mozart Effect”? While that’s kind of gone the way of the dodo, the premise can still be used. Grab a song or two that you really love and jam out to it for a couple of minutes. Sing, dance, get the blood moving to that stuffy brain. Then, sit down and dare that blank page to defy your words.

2. Write by hand – I can’t recommend this technique enough. There is something about putting pencil to paper which gets the creativity going, especially if you imagine yourself as the royal scribe for the kingdom of…whatever. Point is, the physical act of writing may send stimulus to the brain that it’s time to get to work.

3. Get out of the house – We spend a lot of time indoors, especially in those of us in areas of colder winters. Shake yourself out of a rut by going outside – bundle up if you need to! Even as little as ten minutes taking in nature will mostly like shake that creativity into submission.

4. Work with your hands– Activating your hands will activate your brain. Cooking, knitting, crocheting…even washing dishes has an effect. Something about focusing on a bit of a mundane task makes the brain want to entertain itself. I swear to you, I’ve had some excellent ideas when up to my wrists in dishwater.

5. Play video games – I have a terrible secret to share. When I feel I’m stuck and can’t write another word, I go onto Facebook….and spin those fake slots. Or, I’ll play Zuma, where a frog spits beads. In other words, I do something totally mindless. Again, the brain gets bored, and tries to entertain itself. And as odd as it sounds, it really does work.

One thing I don’t recommend is scrolling social media. Depending on your temperament, it might actually be detrimental to your ability to create, depending on what you run into on your feed. As we all know, news stories and other people’s issues can be stressful, even if we are not directly involved. Save your social media involvement for after you’ve finished working. You won’t be sorry.

Do you have a tip to get the creative motor running? Leave it in the comments.

1Love

Dahlia

5 Ways of Self-Care for Writers

As an author, sitting is an unfortunate by-product of the profession.  When I first began my writing career, I confess that I spent too much time at my desk, desperately typing, revising and editing, so much so that I ended up in the emergency room with a pinched nerve in my back. I’ve had three children and I have never experienced something so painful in my life. Even now, as I write about it, I cringe at the memory!

Needless to say, after recovering from that ordeal, I made definite changes to my writing routine.  By doing so, it has not only improved me physically, but also kicked up my mental processes, making writing that much easier. My muse is so much happier and she shows it by letting the ideas flow!

There are five things that I worked into my writing routine that helped me improve the way I work.

Please take these tips and mold them to your needs.  Good health is important.

As authors, we begin behind the eight-ball because we sit for such a large portion of our day.

Without further ado, here they are:

  1. Drink plenty of water.  It’s easy to slurp down coffee and soda and juice while sitting at the computer.  The sugar and caffeine give us a quick rush of energy and keep us focused on the task at hand.  However, overloading on such drinks can cause a late day crash, jitters,  and dehydration.  I have acquired a cute little water bottle and fill it with ice water with a touch of lemon juice.  Mind you, I do not skip my morning coffee, and will go for a refill if the urge strikes me.  Bu if I am going to have the coffee, I’ll make a conscious effort to finish the water bottle by noon, then go back for a refill on that too. Sipping water also keeps me from snacking too much.  The addition of the lemon gives the boring water a spiffy taste and has the  small benefit of Vitamin C.
  2. Take a Break – Try not to become so focused on your writing that you don’t get up from the computer because you don’t want to “break the spell”.  Create a break schedule.  Set a timer for fifty, thirty or twenty minutes, then working on your writing and ONLY your writing.  No checking social media or paring down your inbox.    When the timer goes off, get up.  Walk around, check the mail,  do yoga stretches – anything but sit.  This gives your body a break from sitting in a fixed position and gets the blood flowing to your brain.  Don’t skip the break, as tempting as it may be to do so.
  3. Exercise – Yes, you’ve heard it many times before.  Your brain feeds on the oxygen-rich blood circulated by the heart. Before I sit down at the keyboard with my fragrant cup of coffee, I complete a brisk 15-20 minute walk that gets my blood pumping and my brain receptive for the muse.  During these walks, I am often able to work out any issues that I might be having in my story.  Getting away from the keyboard and out into the fresh air helps immensely.I also enjoy yoga.  It’s calm, low-impact and I don’t have to get too dressed up for it!  When the weather is poor or I simply don’t feel like going outside, ten to  fifteen minutes of yoga poses can serve the same purpose.
  4. Get Enough Sleep – Most of us wouldn’t stay up half the night and try to function at the job on four or five hours of sleep, would we?  If you write full time like me, your writing is your job. Treat it like one.  Get enough rest the night before.  A full night’s sleep increases your mental sharpness, emotional balance, and creativity.  Sitting in front of your computer screen bleary-eyed and fuzzy-headed can only lead to frustration and writer’s block.  It’s all about putting yourself in the most optimum frame of mind possible.
  5. Pay attention to Posture – Nothing will fatigue you more than terrible posture.  We’ve all done it: shoulders hunched, wrists smashed against the laptop and feet in odd positions.  There’s no problem in doing it, the problem is staying that way.  Check your posture: are your shoulders back, feet flat on the floor and your wrists relaxed?  Hunching over can put a great strain on the neck, as well as the shoulders and forearms.  My weakness is that I lean to the right side, putting too much pressure on my right arm.  About fifteen minutes of that and I have to shake it back awake!  Stay cognizant of how you sit.

 

So there you have it, my magical formula for staying alert and healthy while pounding out the word count.  While I don’t always do every single thing on this list, I strive to ensure that I’m in the best mind frame possible when I sit down at the computer.  It’s not easy sticking to this routine, and I have been guilty of hunching over the computer for an hour straight. However, as long as that remains an anomaly and not a regular practice, I’m looking forward to many happy, healthy years as an author with a happy, healthy, giving muse and no more ER visits!

1Love

Dahlia