Horror Movie Review – The Ouija Experiment

Title: The Ouija Experiment, aka The Realm
Genre: Horror, Found Footage-ish
Director: Israel Luna
Writers: Israel LUna
IMDB Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2364842/

NO SPOILERS

This was a movie that I stumbled upon perusing some streaming service or another. I suppose if you run a search for the title, it will tell you where it’s playing or where you can get it. Honestly, even though IMDB gives it a 3.4 out of 10, I actually enjoyed the movie. I’d even watch it again!

Here’s the setup. There’s a film student (already annoying, lol) who plays with a Ouija board with his four friends. Why? They want to solve the mystery of a drowned girl that happened some time ago. I’m really fuzzy on the details because, well, it just didn’t matter to me after a while.

Let me say upfront…it’s not scary. The acting is bad and the found footage-ish way of filming can by annoying at times. I don’t know if it was the mood I was in, but I thought the film was rather cute. I liked the dynamic of some of the actors, and the self-aware of “I’m a black person in a horror movie” of the black actress was pretty funny at times.

I felt the first hour was quite strong in the way it set up the story. The actors did a pretty good job for a low budget movie that looks like it was filmed in somebody’s house on the fly. In addition, trivia for the movie suggests the actors’ lines were mostly improvised during this first hour. They didn’t do a half-bad job!

As I noted above, when the scary stuff starts, the black actress is the best. She really made me laugh.

A note on the dialogue: this was the best part of the movie. The conversations and rapid exchanges seem real and unrehearsed. Also, the actors have such a good sense of timing, they did not stumble over each other’s lines as is often the case in the found footage movies where the lines are improvised. I just liked hearing the characters chit chat with each other.

Otherwise, the film and its eventual reveal of the long-ago murder was rather flat and boring. Do not watch this movie if you are looking to be frightened. It won’t happen. If you watch it at all, watch it for the actors’ performances and how they interact.

Film Grade: D

Actors Grade: B for snappy dialogue.

Blogtoberfest – Zombie Awareness Month

Welcome to October, or as I like to call it, thirty days of Halloween Eve!

This is one of the first posts of “Blogtoberfest” and it’s also Zombie Awareness Month!

So…..are you aware? More importantly, are you prepared?

Many people are caught unprepared, no matter what the emergency, whether it be a hurricane, snow storm or zombie apocalypse. This is according to the CDC, which has a page on how to prepare for any emergency event, up to and including a zombie apocalypse. If you don’t believe me, click here.

Again, are you prepared to “bug-out” at a moment’s notice? Your Kindle, table or extra-smart phone won’t be of much help when the ravenous, bloody-mouthed hordes of the un-dead start beating at your door. Well, maybe you can throw your device at them, but at the most it’ll only take out one or two.

Okay, now you’re all asking, Dahlia, what can I do to prepare for the zombie apocalypse or any other emergency that might occur?

Well, I’m glad you asked that. Here’s a list of items that are essential to surviving those first few days of utter confusion when there is no more room in Hell and the dead begin to walk the earth.

From the CDC Page:

Water (1 gallon per person per day)
Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

In addition to having this emergency kit, you should also have an emergency plan for your family. Zombies wait for no one, so mapping the quickest route out of the infected area (and alternate routes) should be of utmost importance. Does your family have a meeting place just in case you are separated? How about an out of state contact that you can either run to or touch base with to ensure members of a family are safe?

Remember, the farther away you can get from a hungry zombie, the better. And the more prepared you are for any emergency, the better off you and your family will be. Take the time today because……..

They’re coming to get you, Barbara…

Movie Review: The Battery

Title: The Battery
Genre: Horror: Zombies
Director: Jeremy Gardner
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2272350/

In a land ravaged by the undead, Ben and Mickey must first learn to survive each other.

It’s a zombie movie. Of course I’m going to watch it, either through my fingers or like a boss, but I’m going to watch it. I liked the movie poster. I’m still a fan of the baseball move to whack a zombie skull, so to see one of the characters holding a bat…I was pretty pleased.

This is not your typical zombie movie with the characters hiding in an attic or basement, surviving on canned food and sniping at each other. Rather, this is an open movie: regaling us with the beauty of the New England countryside in summer while also reminding us of the danger that lurks around nearly every corner.

The director, Jeremy Gardner, is also one of the main characters named Ben. Ben has an epic beard and is the alpha of the two males. The second main character, Mickey, is the softer type. He walks around with headphones on, keeping the music going in his ears as he follows Ben through the woods and along the roads, basically allowing Ben to make most of the decisions and all of the zombie kills.

Ben’s growing impatience with Mickey’s refusal to cope with their reality leads to some interesting scenes that I won’t spoil here.

Overall, this is more of a character study of the two men and how they react to these new circumstance than a run-for-your-life post apocalyptic movie.

Special Effects: The effects are not the point here. If I read correctly, Gardner spent about 6k to make the film in two weeks. Don’t go into this expecting realistic splatter and gross-out gore.

Watch or not to watch?:
If you like quiet, self-contained movies and the dynamic of male relationships, then you’ll like this movie. If you’re looking for blood, gore, brains and breathless chases, you will find this movie boring.

Trivia: In baseball, the term battery refers collectively to the pitcher and the catcher, who may also be called batterymen^[1] or batterymates of one another. (wikipedia.org)

Grade: A minus