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Dahlia DeWinters - Author

Quirky Heroines, Happy Endings

The Write Way: Self-Care for Romance Authors

red roses close up photography
Photo by picjumbo.com on Pexels.com

As a romance author, I truly understand the demands and pressures that come with the craft. Writing all these captivating love stories (and sex scenes if you’re spicy!) requires immense creativity, emotional investment, dedication  as well as perseverance.  Lots of perseverance. However, amidst the chaos of deadlines and plot twists, it’s crucial for us romance authors to prioritize self-care. In this blog post, I’m going to talk about the importance of self-care for romance authors and look at some ways to incorporate it into our writing routines.

The Heart of Self-Care for Romance Authors 

As romance authors, we pour  our passion into every page and to entertain and excite our readers. But such an investment can drain our own hearts if we don’t prioritize self-care. When we do not nurture ourselves, the creative flames can dim from fatigue and burnout. I’ve seen too many posts on social media about self-published authors who have just had it.  We write love, we write because we love it, but sometimes we get tired! That’s why self-care is so vital for romance writers. It allows us to recharge so our imaginations can continue creating those magical romantic tales that the readers love. 

When Self-Care Takes Center Stage

Carving out true self-care time is essential, even during busy writing seasons.  Make sure you consider scheduling non-negotiable blocks focused  on activities that uplift and rejuvenate you as a person. Set aside authorship and whatever else you have going on in your life and just be you. Whether it’s taking nature walks, enjoying hobbies, or meditating,  this time is sacred for nourishing your mind, body, and spirit. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty creative cup. Setting boundaries is also key. We have to learn when to say no and prioritize activities that bring you joy and renewal, which includes taking those social media breaks. With self-care at the center, you’ll have energy to keep your stories and characters vibrantly alive.

The journey of writing romances is a marathon, not a sprint. By caring for your own heart first, you’ll be able to infuse passion into your words. You owe it to both your readers and yourself to make self-care a priority.

Listen, I’m a mom of three, plus a dog.  I am well aware that balancing writing and self-care can be a delicate dance, but with the right strategies, you can do this. The key?  Managing your time properly. Create a schedule that allows for dedicated writing time as well as time for self-care activities. Mind you, that first schedule isn’t always going to work. So, what you do is experiment with different routines until you find one that works best. You might have different schedules for different days. 

Image courtesy of CreateHerStock

The point is, self-awareness is crucial in recognizing when you need a break. Pay attention to the signs of burnout or exhaustion then,  give yourself permission to take time off. Taking care of yourself is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. Guilt can often accompany taking time for self-care, especially when there are deadlines looming or a never-ending to-do list. (Don’t we all know about those to-do lists.) However, it’s essential to overcome this guilt. Self-care is an investment in your long-term success as an author. Embrace the fact that by taking care of yourself, you’re nurturing your creativity and ensuring that you stay in the mindset to keep producing.

There are numerous self-care practices that can enhance creativity and productivity in romance writing. One effective practice is journaling. Set aside time each day to write freely without any expectations or judgments. This practice allows you to process emotions, explore new ideas, and tap into your creative well.

Physical exercise is another powerful self-care practice that can boost both creativity and productivity. Engaging in regular physical activity not only improves your physical health but also releases endorphins that enhance mood and cognitive function. Whether it’s going for a run, practicing yoga, or dancing, find a form of exercise that brings you joy and make it a regular part of your self-care routine.

Connecting with other romance authors can also be a valuable self-care practice. Join writing groups or online communities where you can share experiences, seek support, and engage in meaningful conversations. Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals who understand the unique challenges of being a romance author can be incredibly uplifting and inspiring.

Always keep in mind that self-care is not a luxury but a necessity. By prioritizing ourselves, we can maintain our mental and physical well-being, enhance our creativity and productivity, and sustain long-term success in our writing journeys. It’s crucial to create a self-care routine that works for us, set boundaries, and manage our time effectively. Remember, taking care of ourselves is not selfish but an investment in our craft and overall happiness. So, let’s make self-care a regular part of our writing routines and watch our love stories flourish.

Nurturing Your Creativity as a Romance Author 

Writing heart-stirring romances requires deep wells of creativity. Luckily, self-care can help replenish your imaginative spirits. Consider these self-care tips:

Journaling – Set aside time to write freely without judgment. This emotional processing unlocks creativity. There are so many journaling prompts for authors and creatives that you can find and use. 

Physical Activity – Exercise boosts endorphins, mood, and mental clarity. Find activities that energize your spirit.  Walks in the woods (pretend you’re on the moors), walks in a mall, even just sitting outside in the fresh air doing yoga can help.

Community – Connecting with like-minded individuals is so important. Seek out other romance authors for support and inspiration. Surround yourself with creative colleagues.

Remember, self-care is not a luxury for you, romance author, but a necessity. By nourishing your mind, body and soul, you build a sustainable mindset to keep your creativity flowing. So make time for practices that spark your imagination and storytelling passion. Your stories, characters, and especially your readers will thank you for it!

Thank you for stopping by! What do you do for self-care?  Leave it in the comments.

–Dahlia


Filed Under: Real Talk, Uncategorized Tagged: dahlia dewinters, interracial romance, self-care

Anxious? Get Those Creative Juices Flowing!

Oh, anxiety. We’re all too familiar with that nagging beast, aren’t we? It rears its restless head at the most inconvenient times, leaving us tense and overwhelmed. Not fun! But don’t stress, lovelies. You know by now I’ve got a trick up my proverbial sleeve just for you.  

photo of rainbow colored painting on canvas
Photo by Steve Johnson on Pexels.com

Let’s talk about creative playtime.

That’s right! Tapping into your creative side can whisk those worries away. Remember “whistle while you work”? I’m talking art, music, dance…anything that sparks the inner muse. Trust me, anxiety doesn’t stand a chance against an actively creative mind.

Now I know what you’re thinking… Did he fire six shots or only five? ….wait, that’s not what you’re thinking.  What you’re really thinking is:  “But I’m not artistic or talented…” My friend, come on, that’s so not true! We ALL have that creative flair within; we just have to reconnect with it.

In fact, let your inner child be your guide! Think back to the activities you loved as a kid. Were you a coloring fanatic? An epic block tower engineer? Did you write poems and stories? How about dance parties in the living room? All signs pointing to that untapped creative side of you! It’s so easy to access now. Really.

If you’ve read my blog, or followed me on social media, you are well aware how much I love my music. Dance? Not so much. Maybe the Electric Slide, or the Harlem Shuffle and the ever-famous Two-Step. Despite my disco shortcomings,  music and dance send my worries drifting away. Cranking up my favorite tunes and shaking it out (embarrassingly) fills me with feel-good energy! Maybe meditation music or a spicy salsa rhythm is your jam. Find what floats your creative boat and makes you happy and bubbly.

If you feel stuck, try taking a class and learning something new. Consider that camera gathering dust or finally try sculpting pottery like you’ve always wanted. Trust me, anxiety doesn’t stand a chance against fresh inspiration.

And hey, being creative isn’t about being Picasso or Mozart! Find activities that distract you, capture your attention, and flow intuitively. This is not the space to be intimidated, just have fun!

Sometimes we need to escape anxiety’s clutch and access our creative freedom. From coloring books to dance offs, cooking, photography…if it sparks your spirit and chills out your mind, embrace it. Ready to try it?

Drop a comment as to what YOU do to shake those anxiety blues.


Filed Under: Real Talk, Writing Tagged: black girl nerds, blerd, dahlia dewinters, geek girl, multicultural romance, writer advice

Horror Movie Review – Wrecker

Title: Wrecker
Genre: Horror
Director: Michael Bafaro
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4227282/

This movie almost WRECKED my marriage.  (See what I did there?) My husband had the day off and I suggested we watch a movie.

“Hey, we’ll watch this movie. It’s terrible, but it’ll be fun! We’ll have a few laughs!”

Famous last words.

I’ve seen some horror dreck in my lifetime. I’ve watched the Friday the 13th movies and stuff that I can’t even recall I’ve seen because it’s been so terrible. But I’ve been able to laugh and point and giggle about the director and/or writer being awful. Or awful acting. Sometimes, the movie is bad, but you can see the actors are having fun, so it makes up for it.

This was not the case with this movie. This movie was just bad with no redeeming qualities. None. Wait. I did love the red Mustang and some of the shots were gorgeous. I can say that. But I don’t watch a horror for its gorgeous shots. Really, I don’t.

Let me give you a little overview. Being a woman of a certain age, I have seen a ton of movies. I know most of the tricks, the cliches and the character tropes. And I deal with them, because, let’s be honest, there is nothing new under the sun. And that’s okay.

You know what’s not okay? This movie.

So it starts out, some cross country trip. Blonde girl is nice, brunette is nasty. She’s

drinking, pretending to smoke (As an ex smoker, I can tell a true inhale. You gotta savor that smoke to get that nicotine hit), flashing her boobs, etc. Meanwhile the driver, the good girl blonde is telling her to calm down. Okay, look, blondie, you knew your girl was out of control before she got in the car, so why all the peeved admonishments?

Side note:  The poster?  Where it says ‘you stop, you die’.  They stopped plenty of times and no matter how much I wished……well.  Movie poster is a liar.

Anyway, they somehow anger some random tow truck driver and he starts messing with them. I would go on, but even thinking about the movie makes me tired.  Suffice it to say many stupid things happen and then it’s over.

Another side note:  This second poster?  Talking about ‘a wrong turn’?  This is also  a lie.  They took a shortcut ON PURPOSE.

I’ve seen Duel. I’ve seen Joyride. Both were way better and Duel was made in the EARLY seventies. In Wrecker, the acting is terrible. The choices the characters make are ridiculous and make no sense. And…the whole movie had my face screwed up.

My husband was not pleased. What a waste of 70 odd minutes.

Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

Grade: F
Watch or not to watch?: Don’t bother. It’s not even bad enough to have fun with.


Filed Under: Blogging, Blogtoberfest, Horror Movie Reviews, Movies--Books--Music--Television, Uncategorized Tagged: author, black geek girl, black geek girls, black girl geeks, black girl nerds, blerd, blogtober, boho writer chick, dahlia dewinters, female geek bloggers, halloween, horror, quirky romance, scary, spooky season

Three Halloween Books for Scary Reading

Yes, we like the movies, but there’s nothing like a scary book to curl up with on a dark, blustery night.  When I lived alone, I used to scare myself to death with the sounds that I thought I heard when I was reading an especially scary book.  And the dog didn’t help when she jump up and ran out of the room for no apparent reason. (Sometimes I think dogs do that on purpose to  scare the mess out of us.  Then they go drink out of the toilet and laugh at us.)

Anyhoo, here’s my top five books to read around Halloween, or any time.  These are presented in no particular order.

Pet Sematary  – Stephen King:  I can’t tell you how much this book frightened me.  I discuss this in more detail over at my blog, if you care to take a look.  Suffice to say, while the movie is pretty scary, it could not come close to the frightening visions that I had conjured in my head when I’d read the book..

I Am Legend – Richard Matheson:  Forget Will Smith.  Forget the movies.  Read the story.  Get inside of the head of the last human on earth, who is plagued every night by some kind of creatures who bid him to “come out, come out…”  This novel inspired George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead.  Excellent reading.

Something Wicked This Way Comes – Ray Bradbury: Jim Nightshade and William Halloway encounter a carnival that is not exactly what it seems.  To me, some of the themes that run through this novel mirror Stephen King’s  Needful Things.  If you haven’t read either, read Something Wicked first.

The Haunting of Hill House – Shirley Jackson: I saw the movie, yes, it was scary.  However, as I wrote before, there’s nothing that can scare you worse than yourself.  Shirley Jackson taps right into that terror and carries you along with her.

Rosemary’s Baby – Ira Levin: First of all, stay away from the “sequel”, Son of Rosemary’s Baby.  That book made me so angry that I threw the hardcover across the room.  Literally.  (I am very glad that I hadn’t been reading it on an e-reader because the urge to throw it would have still been very strong.).  The original Rosemary’s Baby is another case of the ordinary turning so hideously extraordinary that you can’t believe it’s happening.  Certainly, it may be somewhat dated, but still, transport yourself back to the era before the Internet and immerse yourself in the horror.

I hope you enjoy these hand-picked scary selections of mine. Be sure to lock the doors and the windows and leave the bathroom light on.  You don’t want to fumble into someone in the middle of the night.

 

Pleasant dreams!


Filed Under: Blogging, Blogtoberfest, Movies--Books--Music--Television Tagged: black girl nerds, blerd, blogtober, blogtoberfest, colors in darkness, dahlia dewinters, halloween, horror, rosemary's baby, scary, scary books, shirley Jackson, spooky season, Stephen King

Blogtoberfest – Horror Movie Review – Unfriended

Title: Unfriended
Genre:  Horror, Thriller, Drama
Director: Levan Gabriadze (as Leo Gabriadze)
IMDB link:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3713166/

Synopsis according to IMDB:
A group of online chat room friends find themselves haunted by a mysterious, supernatural force using the account of their dead friend.

I might be getting too old for this, I admit this up front.  I did not enjoy this movie on any level. Though I thought the story and the premise was excellent, the thirty year olds playing high schoolers did nothing to elicit my sympathy.  I couldn’t even enjoy it on the “so bad it’s good” level because there was little to no physical action. You couldn’t say “don’t go in there” or “stay out of the basement”.  Nope.  The entire movie took place on a laptop screen.

As I said, this was an interesting concept and on some level, it was well executed.  Since I watched the movie on a laptop, it was easy watching and some intriguing things happened.

The actors themselves were annoying.  The screaming, crying, cursing and yelling did nothing for the movie.  I won’t spoil it here, but in the end the viewer is left unsatisfied.

I’d say see it once, just to experience it.

As always….YMMV.

Grade: D


Filed Under: Blogtoberfest Tagged: black girl geeks, black girl nerds, blerd, computer horror movie, dahlia dewinters, found footage, halloween, horror movie review, movies that scare, scary movies, unfriended

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