Dahlia DeWinters - Author

Quirky Heroines, Happy Endings

Horror Movie Review: The Autopsy of Jane Doe

Title:  The Autopsy of Jane Doe

Genre:  Horror, Drama

Summary: A father and son, both coroners, are pulled into a complex mystery while attempting to identify the body of a young woman, who was apparently harboring dark secrets. (from IMDB)

Starring:  Emile Hirsch and Brian Cox

Brian Cox is ‘that guy’ for me.  I remember him as Daphne Moon’s gadabout father from Frasier and as Col Stryker from the first series of X-Men movies.  I love the way he pops up as a villain or as a supporting character in the movies I enjoy watching.  He has presence and improves any scene he appears in.

On the other hand, I only know Emile Hirsch from some strange movie called “Alpha Dog” in which he plays a kidnap “victim”. I can’t remember seeing him in anything much at all, although his IMDB resume reveals more than a few films and TV series.  That being said, he does hold his own with the Scottish actor.

As father and son coroners hired to do an autopsy on an unidentified body found at a strange homicide where the victims seemed to be trying to get out of this creepy house. I liked the film from the start.  The audience is shown the aftermath of a bizarre killing area, but are not really subjected to the gore that usually accompany such scenes.  On the other hand, the mystery of what exactly happened hangs over the first part of the movie.

The setting is pretty perfect.  This is not your white, brightly lit, coroners station that you see in Quincy or even Law and Order.  No.  This is a dark, almost dim operating room which makes one wonder how they even see each other, never mind the instruments they are supposed to use. On top of it all they’re doing the autopsy at night.  Talk about a perfect storm.  Oh, did I mention there is also a storm on the way?

Needless to say, the spooky stage is set and mysterious events start to occur.  Now, as a rule, if the movie is good and begins well, I don’t spend my time second guessing the plot.  I just enjoy the ride.  

“Jane Doe” is that type of film.  It sucks you in with the mystery and holds your attention to the very end.  As you all know, I only watch horror movies during the day, but this one creeped me out especially.  There’s a part near the end where you think everything is going to be okay….and it isn’t.  It really, really wasn’t.  

Suffice to say, this isn’t your average horror film.  There is a lot of slow dread and great buildup.  Weird things happen, things get smooth for a bit and more weird things happen. I liked the film.  I liked the slow dread and the dynamic between the two actors, who work very well together.

Trivia:  There is an actual actress who plays Jane Doe.  She had to lie still for hours at a time to film the movie.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars. Highly recommended.

Horror Movie Review – The Open House

Title:   The Open House

Genre:   Thriller/Horror

Synopsis:   (from imdb) A teenager (Dylan Minnette) and his mother (Piercey Dalton) find themselves besieged by threatening forces when they move into a new house.

If you’re a fan of horror movies where “the black guy dies first”, this movie is for you.  To begin, let me tell you I watch a LOT of garbage.  As a person who watched horror movies, I have accepted and even embraced the fact that not every movie I screen will be good or even palatable.  Still, even in the worst of horror movies so far, I’ve been able to not be disgusted by them.  Sure, they’ve been dumb, silly and downright terrible, but there was always a little spark of originality or the fact the movie didn’t take itself too seriously which mitigated its terribleness. This is not the case with The Open House.

If, after my dire warning, you still insist on watching this film in a serious way, read no more.  I will be spoiling everything I can.  All the spoilers.  EVERY ONE!

not necessarily in order, either

 From both the poster and the movie trailer, the film promises a mysterious movie in which a weekly Open House may or may not be inviting in a killer.  The film poster, done in bluish-gray “horror movie tones” showed a shadowy figure standing menacingly in a driveway.  Both advertisement mediums indicated a good, scary time lorded over by this scary figure.

When I logged on to Netflix to chill out and watch some reruns of The Office, it popped right up on my feed.  So, I said, what the heck?  Oh, foolish Dahlia. Foolish, foolish, Dahlia. 

 

I should have known something was up when the movie began with a cliche:

Main character suffers a devastating tragedy.
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again:  I’ve seen a LOT of movies (not just horror) and I’m pretty good at recognizing foreshadowing when I see it.  As I writer, I have also been known to use the technique a bit. That being said, foreshadowing is supposed to be subtle, but when Dad dropped an egg and the movie showed it cracking open, spilling out the yolk and white all over the floor, I knew Dad was a goner.  Then, poor old Dad suggests they go get more eggs.  I knew right away, old Dad was gonna be cracked open sooner rather than later.  Sure enough, Dad was gone in the first 15 minutes of the movie.  Bonus cliche points:  the main character sees this happen,

Main character has to relocate because of…whatever issues.

Turns out Dad was a deadbeat and didn’t leave any insurance.  So Mom and son have to go to live in her sister’s house, which she just so happens to have up for sale.  Which brings us to the next cliche.

New location is located in a remote place with spotty cell service.

On their way to the town, the mother is talking on the cell phone in the car. Sounds like she’s trying to straighten out something with the husband’s estate.  Why are you chatting on the phone, driving to a strange place IN THE DARK? Either way she’s driving, in the dark and chatting on the phone.  Then she gets mad because the phone 

cuts out (cue spotty cell service) Suddenly, a mysterious figure appears at the side of the road, causing mom to slam the brakes and holler, “Did I hit him?”

:::::Mouth open::::::  Heffa, did you hear a thump? I’m sorry, but I’ve got to really ding the movie for this.  I can’t with this one.  There was no thump….why the heck did you think you hit him? I began to think this movie wasn’t going to have any legs. But it did have cliches!  Check out the next one.

Explore a creepy basement/attic with a flashlight.

They get to the house.  Bring in their stuff.  Then the mother disappears somewhere and the boy is in the kitchen by himself.  Oh, look there’s a door!  It leads to a basement, WHICH HAS NO LIGHT SWITCH.  No worries, just pick up this handy flashlight and go right on down!  Also, what was up with the maze in the basement?  Stone walls?  Is this Wolfenstein? No rhyme or reason, just wander around down there until your mother calls for you.  The weird thing was, they never discuss how weird the basement was, not even a throw off line.  I tell you what, if I lived in a house like that with a creepy basement, I sure would be on the lookout for, well, creepiness.

Weird/creepy neighbors and/or townsfolk

The characters go into a store or something and an older woman comes up to them.  “You must be Logan….and you are Naomi”.  Ooooo, spooky.  They are on alert.  How does this woman know their names.  “Oh, your sister emailed me with your pictures.”  Okay, why didn’t the sister TELL THEM that?  Cheap scary moment.  Random crazy woman not so crazy…or is she?  You’re back and forth with that, movie. And I despise you for it.

Random scares with chords.

Oh, the tangled web we weave when we try to scare.  Sigh.  The silly jump scares abound. Unfortunately, no cat scares…that at least would have been mildly entertaining.

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Saying “hello” when there’s a weird sound/event.

There’s a scene where Logan, the teenager, is awakened by a honking horn.  He gets up, goes to the window and peeks out.  There is a car sitting in their driveway, with its lights on bright so he really can’t see anything.  He stands there for a while until the car honks its horn.  Logan then GOES OUTSIDE (no coat, no shoes) and tries to see who is in the car.  What the heck?  Then, he goes back to bed and DOES NOT TELL HIS MOTHER. Whaaaa? I dig that they’re kind of estranged because of the father’s death and their poorness, but…..c’mon man!

Not noticing things are out of place/not telling people when weird things happen

You live in a house, an apartment whatever.  You know when doors are open and closed, right?  Well, these two don’t.  The mother goes somewhere in the house, walks past a door.  As we watch, the door opens.  When she comes back, and walks right past the door, she doesn’t close it, nor does she even seem to register that it’s open in the first place.  I just shook my head.  By that time in the movie, I was just watching to see what happened.

Kid has a cereal bowl in his room.  He goes to do something, and finds his cereal bowl in the living room.  Says nothing.

Black guy dies first

So something scary happens, furniture is rearranged when they leave the house.  They come back, are shocked, and FINALLY call the police.  After trying to keep his mother from even talking to this dude earlier in the movie, Kid invites the only other black guy in the movie besides the cop, Chris, over to, I guess, protect them against the creepy stuff. And also to be the first victim of mysterious killer. Yeah.  Bite it, movie, with your oldest cliche in the damn horror movie book.

Note:  There are two black men in this movie.  One is a red herring and dies first, the other is a police officer and has THREE WORDS to say. This is 2018, right?  I thought we were done with the stereotypes and cliches, but I guess not. Bugger off, movie.

As if you didn’t know this already, this movie is not recommended, even for fun.  It’s a dud of a movie, and I truly felt I wasted my time watching it. If you want to see the trailer, I’m sure it’s on YouTube.  I’ve wasted enough of my life on this movie as it is. 

 

Grade:  F-.  You are not approved for a mortgage.

 

Note:  There are a few times where I think I say I’m sorry?  Well, I’m NOT!!

 

Horror Movie Review – The Vault

Title:   The Vault

Summary:
Two estranged sisters are forced to rob a bank in order to save their brother. But this is no ordinary bank. (from imdb.com)

Genre: Horror, Thriller

Opinion

To say this was a pleasant surprise is an understatement. I didn’t expect much. I didn’t realize James Franco was in it until halfway through. This means that I kept looking at this guy and thinking that I know him from some movie. Like I said, it was only mid-movie that I said to myself “That’s James Franco! What’s he doing in this movie.”

My silly epiphany aside, The Vault was an interesting movie. It started out as one thing, then after a cliche line, it turned into something else, which I was completely fine with. I won’t go any further with the plot. Suffice it to say, the movie held my attention all the way through. I wasn’t tempted to look away, except for the bloody parts, and the acting was quite good for the genre.

While there is nothing new under the sun for me, having seen a huge amount of movies, I always relax and let the movie entertain me. Unless the movie is completely terrible, I try to let it roll out like the writers meant it to be. By doing this, I tend to enjoy a lot more movies.
Yes. The setup of The Vault has been done many times before. However, the actors were good, the special effects very effective and the back story scary and convincing.

Rating – B

Want more Horror Movie Reviews?  Click HERE.

Horror Movie Review – Exhibit A

Title:  Exhibit A

Genre:  Thriller/Horror – Found Footage

Synopsis:  The timely story of a normal family disintegrating under financial pressure, eventually driven to the unimaginable. We witness the terrifying events unfold through daughter Judith’s video camera, which subsequently becomes Exhibit A.

I watched this movie on the recommendation of Overthinking Horror Films.  For some reason, I really enjoy “found footage” horror films and was looking for something that was found footage but wasn’t littered with profanity and super shaky cam.  I mean, the jitter cam is fine, but when it’s 80 percent of the movie, it’s more annoying than atmospheric.

I’d seen Exhibit A in my travels through the websites that listed found footage, but never really paused to examine it more closely.  First of all, it’s a British film and either I didn’t want to fight with the accents, or the description didn’t grab me.  However, since I trust OHF’s taste in films, I took a chance and watched it.

I’ve seen reviews which poo-poo the film or say that it’s over the top.  They’ll say the acting was terrible and how could the daughter film all through this. Let me just say this.  The film got me by throat and didn’t let go until the end.  I even gasped in some parts.

The basic premise is a regular old family of Mom and Dad, and two teens, a girl and a boy.  I was a little annoyed when thirty seconds in , the girl filmed herself in the mirror so that we could see who she was.  Ugh.  However, I stuck with it and while I can’t say I was rewarded for my perseverance, I was served a good film.

The father’s performance was one that stuck with me the most.  Early on, I could see something was amiss and the little things just kept piling up.  The film became more painful to watch as it went on, not because the performances were bad, but you could see where the train was going.  You just wondered where exactly it was going to wreck.  

And wreck it did.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more harrowing to an ending in recent years.  At one point, I had to look away from the screen to relieve the tension.  I just didn’t want to bear witness to it any more.  Yes, it’s a movie, but the actors sold the story and I was right there with them.

This is not a gleeful horror film.  While it’s stylized up to a point, it’s a little too close to the bone to be laughed at.

 

Rating: B+ Recommended.

5 Ways of Self-Care for Writers

As an author, sitting is an unfortunate by-product of the profession.  When I first began my writing career, I confess that I spent too much time at my desk, desperately typing, revising and editing, so much so that I ended up in the emergency room with a pinched nerve in my back. I’ve had three children and I have never experienced something so painful in my life. Even now, as I write about it, I cringe at the memory!

Needless to say, after recovering from that ordeal, I made definite changes to my writing routine.  By doing so, it has not only improved me physically, but also kicked up my mental processes, making writing that much easier. My muse is so much happier and she shows it by letting the ideas flow!

There are five things that I worked into my writing routine that helped me improve the way I work.

Please take these tips and mold them to your needs.  Good health is important.

As authors, we begin behind the eight-ball because we sit for such a large portion of our day.

Without further ado, here they are:

  1. Drink plenty of water.  It’s easy to slurp down coffee and soda and juice while sitting at the computer.  The sugar and caffeine give us a quick rush of energy and keep us focused on the task at hand.  However, overloading on such drinks can cause a late day crash, jitters,  and dehydration.  I have acquired a cute little water bottle and fill it with ice water with a touch of lemon juice.  Mind you, I do not skip my morning coffee, and will go for a refill if the urge strikes me.  Bu if I am going to have the coffee, I’ll make a conscious effort to finish the water bottle by noon, then go back for a refill on that too. Sipping water also keeps me from snacking too much.  The addition of the lemon gives the boring water a spiffy taste and has the  small benefit of Vitamin C.
  2. Take a Break – Try not to become so focused on your writing that you don’t get up from the computer because you don’t want to “break the spell”.  Create a break schedule.  Set a timer for fifty, thirty or twenty minutes, then working on your writing and ONLY your writing.  No checking social media or paring down your inbox.    When the timer goes off, get up.  Walk around, check the mail,  do yoga stretches – anything but sit.  This gives your body a break from sitting in a fixed position and gets the blood flowing to your brain.  Don’t skip the break, as tempting as it may be to do so.
  3. Exercise – Yes, you’ve heard it many times before.  Your brain feeds on the oxygen-rich blood circulated by the heart. Before I sit down at the keyboard with my fragrant cup of coffee, I complete a brisk 15-20 minute walk that gets my blood pumping and my brain receptive for the muse.  During these walks, I am often able to work out any issues that I might be having in my story.  Getting away from the keyboard and out into the fresh air helps immensely.I also enjoy yoga.  It’s calm, low-impact and I don’t have to get too dressed up for it!  When the weather is poor or I simply don’t feel like going outside, ten to  fifteen minutes of yoga poses can serve the same purpose.
  4. Get Enough Sleep – Most of us wouldn’t stay up half the night and try to function at the job on four or five hours of sleep, would we?  If you write full time like me, your writing is your job. Treat it like one.  Get enough rest the night before.  A full night’s sleep increases your mental sharpness, emotional balance, and creativity.  Sitting in front of your computer screen bleary-eyed and fuzzy-headed can only lead to frustration and writer’s block.  It’s all about putting yourself in the most optimum frame of mind possible.
  5. Pay attention to Posture – Nothing will fatigue you more than terrible posture.  We’ve all done it: shoulders hunched, wrists smashed against the laptop and feet in odd positions.  There’s no problem in doing it, the problem is staying that way.  Check your posture: are your shoulders back, feet flat on the floor and your wrists relaxed?  Hunching over can put a great strain on the neck, as well as the shoulders and forearms.  My weakness is that I lean to the right side, putting too much pressure on my right arm.  About fifteen minutes of that and I have to shake it back awake!  Stay cognizant of how you sit.

 

So there you have it, my magical formula for staying alert and healthy while pounding out the word count.  While I don’t always do every single thing on this list, I strive to ensure that I’m in the best mind frame possible when I sit down at the computer.  It’s not easy sticking to this routine, and I have been guilty of hunching over the computer for an hour straight. However, as long as that remains an anomaly and not a regular practice, I’m looking forward to many happy, healthy years as an author with a happy, healthy, giving muse and no more ER visits!

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Dahlia