Football Fridays and a Tiny Rant

Hello, my name is Dahlia and I’m an erotic romance writer. For those who don’t know what that means, “erotic romance” is an indicator that if you pick up one of my books (and please do) you will most likely stumble upon to an open door sex scene. You will most likely see the words “p*ssy”, “c*ck”, “d*ck”, “breasts”, “balls”, read about the exchange of bodily fluids and climaxes and orgasms (always a good thing). You will also read about people becoming aroused, thinking about having sex and invading others’ personal space, with sexy results.

I’m sure you’re wondering what’s up with the picture. Stick with me. You’ll see.

As a curious (nosy) person, I used (note the word ‘used‘) to peruse my Amazon book reviews as well as the reviews of other erotic romance authors. It is interesting to read how others view the erotic romance novel. Some of the reviews I’ve read have literally caused my jaw to drop.

I’ve read that some books are “pure p*rn”, nothing but “smut” or have “too much sex”. I’ve also read reviews in which reviewers commented that the heroine doesn’t “have respect for herself” because she f*cked a hot dude on page two. Furthermore, I’ve also read reviews that said “I don’t like books where the woman seeks sexual satisfaction”. I guess this last means the woman has to wait for the man to bring it.

These types of comments truly puzzle me and bring me to a couple of questions:

1. Why are you reading erotic romance novels if you don’t want to read about sex? That’s like watching the NFL channel and getting angry that it has too much football.

Sidenote: To the reviewer who didn’t like the woman who pursued sexual satisfaction, aren’t you doing the same thing by reading a sexy novel? What the f*ck?

2. If you thought an author’s book was pure p*rn, then why did you buy the rest of the books in the series? Who’s the dummy? I’m allergic to peanut butter. So, I go out and buy a Snickers bar, eat it, get sick, then complain?

3. If you don’t like the depiction of blow jobs/p*ssy worship….yeah, why are you even reading an erotic romance? There’s a high chance you’ll run into some c*ck-sucking or **gasp** p*ssy-licking if you read enough of them.

Point is, writers write because they love what they write. Readers read because they love what writers write. I am so glad that there is a place where writers can express the sexuality of their characters and appeal to the readers that like the hot stuff. There is no shame in that game. I have a ton of writer colleagues who write stuff that make me blush, but like I always way, chacun son goût…. les yeux sans visage…. voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir …that’s my French for the day.

I’m not even going to call these people haters, because why bother? My advice? Stick to the sweet romances. Avoid any romance that mentions the word “heat” in the blurb. And, if the cover has a couple enjoying a sweet, sexy embrace, stay far, far, FAR away. You don’t want to get bumped in the face with a stray erection.

As I typed this, I found a brilliant way to tie this all in with Football Friday. My fantasy football stud quarterback, Peyton Manning will wrap this up nicely. Let me give you a little history. Peyton has played in a dome – Lucas Oil Stadium (aka the house that Peyton built) for most of his career. When he went to Denver, there was all sorts of talk that he couldn’t play in the cold. For while, that’s been true until this past game with the Titans. With a kickoff temperature of 18 degrees F, Peyton threw for 397 yards with four touchdowns with no interceptions., The Broncos won, 51-28. Furthermore, the 39 completions established a new franchise record.

Now, does the graphic make more sense?

Football Fridays – Frustrated Tom Brady and Week 2 Matchups

Well, Geno Smith and the Jets’ one game winning streak has been broken! Most of us were in suspense regarding the game: Who would win?

Yeah, right.

Despite the gutting of the Patriots’ offense by free agency, injuries and (alleged) murder, the Jets suffered from poor performance on both sides of the ball.

I am not a Pats “fan” per se. I admire their work ethic and the coaching of Belichick, but I simply cannot abide a team that uses cheating tactics to win. Don’t they have enough film to study?

On the other hand, I am not a Jets’ fan, nor am I a fan of Geno Smith. So when it comes to these two teams, I go with the more mature QB.

That being said, the game was sloppy on both sides. Dropped passeds turnovers (not the tasty kind) and interceptions made the game a disappointment to watch. I expect more from Tom Brady, though I understand that he’s working with super-brand new players. But Tom showed his frustration, yelling on the sidelines about his immature receivers.

Either way, the Pats won and Tom Brady didn’t put up many fantasy points.

Let’s take a look at this weekend’s matchups:

Weekend Matchups –

(note…I only comment on the games that will probably be shown in the New York metro area. Your mileage may vary.)

Chargers at Eagles

The Chargers like to give away games and the Eagles seem like they are on a serious mission. With the addition of coach Chip Kelly, the Iggles are a team to be reckoned with. I pick the Eagles.

Saints at Buccaneers

Drew BREES! As a former New Orleans resident, I like Drew Brees. As a current New Jersey resident, I do not like former Rutgers coach Greg Schiano. But I do like former Tampa Buccaneer, Warren Sapp. Hmmmmm. I pick the Saints.

Redskins at Packers

I am neutral on the strength of both these teams, but I like RGIII much better than Aaron Rodgers. Despite my affection for the running quarterback, I have to pick the Packers.

49ers at Seahawks

I laughed this morning when the fellas on WFAN reported that someone on the 49ners called the Seahawks, the “Shehawks”. Juvenile? Yes. Fun? Most definitely. This will be a hard fought game between two tough teams. I can’t even venture to pick a winner.

The Manning Bowl – Broncos at Giants

What else can be said about this matchup? I don’t do point spreads and stuff like that, but let it be said that Peyton has won every Manning bowl so far. In addition, the Giants defense isn’t what it used to be – but the Broncos offense is hot! Either way, it should be a good game to watch.

Let it also be said that the Eli does have two championship rings to Peyton’s one.

Who’s your team? Who’s your player? Comment and let me know!

Football Friday – The Season Begins

Broncos vs Ravens

And football season is upon us with a vengeance. Super Bowl champs the Baltimore Ravens paid a visit to the Mile-High City for a rematch. If you remember last year, the Ravens bested the Broncos in overtime to move on to the Super Bowl. Mind you, the NFL Channel never let us forget it – I have seen enough replays of the end of that game to last me a lifetime.

I would venture to say that Peyton Manning and the Broncos gave the Ravens a bit of “get-back” last night.

Yes, the first half was slow. A thirty-minute rain delay coupled with the slow saunter of the Ravens onto the field didn’t bode well for the Broncos, especially when it started to rain. When the Ravens drew first blood with a touchdown, Broncos fans may have thought that the Super Bowl champs were back stronger than ever.

However, Peyton Manning is Peyton Manning and despite the absence of Von Miller on defense, Manning more than compensated with his passing game. Wes Welker showed his total catching abilities with nine catches for a total of sixty-seven yards and two touchdowns.

In addition, Demaryius “Only winners get wings” Thomas and Julian Thomas (no relation) combined for 181 yards to push the Broncos over the Ravens.

The most exciting second half I’ve seen in a long time.

And thank goodness, football season has begun!!