Tip Tuesdays

Tip Tuesday: Be Yourself

Hey there! Glad you could join me again on the blog. You know how much I love my song titles, and Be Yourself by Patti really embodies what I’m feeling right now.

Writing is a solitary experience, for the most part, which is why many of us turn to Facebook and other social media outlets to give us a little pick-me-up between the stretches of hard work we are putting in on our writing.

And don’t be fooled by our whiny complaints and over-indulgence in coffee, wine, and journals. We love what we do, or else we wouldn’t do it.

But, as with any industry, there are those who treat it simply as a business and not as personal expression. These are the authors who use ghostwriters and manage to churn out a new release every other week (or so it seems!). Meanwhile, I’m sitting here tip tapping away on a story that will probably take me more than a month to finish.

I could look upon these authors with jealousy, disparage their methods, and make fun of their stories. I could be envious of the thousands of dollars they pull down every month and salivate at the screenshots of their earnings. It would be so easy for me to do.

But I won’t.

Patti’s song says “everybody’s got a heart that knows the truth“. No matter what you do, you’ve got to know your heart. Now….I’m not going to lie and act like I don’t want that payout…who couldn’t use a little extra scratch? However, what would be the point? Why do I need to imbue myself with poisonous, negative thoughts, good for nothing more than souring my heart, raining on my parade and harshing my mellow?

No and nope. I’ve got a heart that knows the truth, and the truth is, I love what I do and how I do it. I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m running my own race and working my own plan. And having a lot of fun doing so.

Could I be running my author life more like a business? Sure! Could I write more “to market” stories that readers will snatch off virtual shelves? Of course! But…to do so would turn me away from my vision of writing story for my soft black girls, my geeky gals and my quirky heroines. And that’s the reason why I got into writing: to write the stories I wanted to read.

Be yourself, like Patti says, you can’t be no one else.

Til next time!

Treat Your Art Like Guys Treat their D*cks

Whoooa! What’s going on? This post is primary addressed to writers, but is applicable for anyone who creates.

Writers! Yes, I’m talking to you: Treat your Writing like Men treat their D*cks

I’ve read so many self-deprecating writer speak that it ceases to be funny. “I’m not any good.” “I write crap.” “No one likes my work.” “Why am I doing this?”

Stop the madness, because personally I’m sick of it. And don’t get all up on your high horses, “Humph. Who does Dahlia think she is?” Nope, don’t even go there because I used to feel the same way. Let’s take a look.

Do you:

Whimper and cringe as each word appears on the page, knowing deep in your writerly heart that there’s no way that word “apple” you just wrote, will past muster with the frowning, critical public?
Weep at editor’s marks, not seeing them as a helpful improvement, but as a branding of how awful your writing is?
Say, “I can’t believe I just wrote that. People will think I’m a horrible person.”

Welcome to the world of self-deprecating writers. Have a seat. Sit down. Have a drink. Now that you know you’re there, here’s how to get out of it.

Remember Steve Harvey’s crap book/movie “Act like a Lady, Think like a Man?” Well, I can’t stand anything about Steve Harvey, but even a broken-ass clock is right twice a day. The grain of truth in this title can certainly be applied to writers.

“Treat your writing like a man treats his d*ck”

This is a bare bones joke, but you’ll get the meaning:

An elephant gets a thorn caught in his foot, and a mouse happens to pull it out. To show his gratitude, the elephant says he’ll do any favor that the mouse wants. The mouse says “I’ve always wanted to f**k an elephant”. The elephant says o.k., the mouse lifts the elephants tail and starts going to town. About that time a coconut falls out of a tree and bonks the elephant on the head. The elephant says “Ow!”, and the mouse says something like … “That’s right, bitch, you’re going to take it no matter how much it hurts!”

That mouse just KNEW he was packing a heavy package.

I have two boys, and from the time they knew what was going on between their legs, it was like a pop gun to them. When those pants came off, the fun began. “Pew, pew!” they’d say, grabbing it and running around pointing it at everyone. It got to the point where my daughter (in between them in age) bumped her crotch on something and cried, “I hurt my penis.” The influence is strong, folks. Not only could you pee on the run, but you could shoot people with it. How handy!

While I am not a man, I’m married to one and asked him about the mystery of the penis. Men love their penises, he told me. They even let them take the lead in decision making every once in the while.

I was amazed. The penis, making life-altering decisions? That just goes to show how very valued and important they are.

Which brings me back to your writing. No matter how big, how small your writing may be, you need to treat it like the best thing that you’ve ever done on paper. Of course, it can always get better, but those words on the screen are pretty darn good right now. Because they’re THERE.

I had a dream that I had lunch with George W. Bush. (He’s a friend in my head, by the way.) He looks like the type who would bring his own bottle to a lunch and pick up the tab without hesitation. Anyhoo, he and I were having lunch (at a very nice restaurant, by the way,) and he said to me, “As long as you act like you know what you’re doing, people will believe anything you say.”

I.Kid.You.Not. That’s what W said to me. And why shouldn’t I listen to a two-term President? Bonus points: He has a penis.

So, writers. Treat your art like your very own penis. Adore it, love it, find ways to make it better. Polish it, rub it down, make it happy. Above all, do not denigrate or belittle it. As you do, others will follow suit. Once you do this, you will gain more confidence. You will gain more creativity. You will become true to your art and will be so much better for it.

1Love

Dahlia

Tip Tuesday – Make it Work with One Notebook

For those of you who’ve seen me flitting about on social media, especially Instagram, then you know how much I love my journals and notebooks. It is truly an affliction. I can’t resist the call of a beautiful looking journal, knowing I can fill its blank pages with my genius thoughts.

Once I get the journal home, it’s another story. The pages are so pretty and pristine, I am reluctant to sully them with my less than important. So, I put the date on the journal and place it on the shelf. It still looks pretty, but it’s unused.

What happens next? Well, I get into an organizing frenzy. Since I see so many journals on the shelf, I pick one for story ideas, one for daily to do lists and one for note taking. Since they’re so disparate, I do need the three journals, right? After about a week, that plan, as brilliant as I thought it was, is all shot to hell.

Enter 2018 and yet another renewed effort for organization. My daughter encouraged me to purchase yet another journal, because 1) she wanted one and 2) they were on sale for 4 dollars each with a coupon and 3) they were so pretty I couldn’t resist. Not only did I end up purchasing more journal-ly meth, I also drew my daughter into the dangerous world of stationery addictions.

When I got home, I determined that this HAD TO STOP! There was no way I could go on with piles of beautiful but blank journals. That’s not what they were made for. I needed to use them for their intended purpose.

And then, I watched a rerun of Breaking Bad. Hank is investigating the death of someone and it winds up they kept meth recipes, titration diagrams and vegan brownie recipes…in the same notebook. While this may seem minor, it was a true epiphany for me. I could use my journal in a multipurpose way.

Which notes do I write in this journal, you may ask?

No. I did not organize it. No, I didn’t do anything cute like those nifty bullet journals. As Dirty Harry said, “A man’s got to know his limitations.” I scribble book snippets that occur to me at odd times, partial grocery lists, passwords and story ideas. And guess what?

IT WORKS!

Not only am I keeping up with it after a full seven days (a record), I am saving so much time. Yes, I do have to flip through a few pages to find what I’m looking for, but that’s what stick flags are for. The point is, I KNOW the information is there because I KNOW I wrote it down. For a disorganized kinda gal like me, this is just so…..liberating!

Oh, yes, the tip for Tuesday? Try a one notebook approach!