• Home
  • About Me
  • My Books
  • Lobby
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy

Dahlia DeWinters - Author

Quirky Heroines, Happy Endings

For Writers Only: Coping with Criticism

Writing is not a profession for the faint of heart. Sure, you wrote a paragraph or two about how the end of The Walking Dead should have been, or an alternate version of Breaking Bad’s nursing home scene (I’m still sick sick sick over that) , but when you REALLY take the plunge, you’ll know.

The Degraded Life of a Writer
Let’s look at the downward spiral you will take. First, you have to complete a story, a task in and of itself. Many different endings will present themselves to you, if you’re lucky to get that far. Otherwise, you’ll dilly dally around the middle, adding in a character, or three, perhaps a death or some kind of natural disaster to get you through the classic “center of story” slump. Or, you’ll shilly shally around the beginning, crafting that perfect first word, sentence, paragraph, chapter, over and over again. Whatever way you choose, you’re doomed. DOOMED. (Can you hear Hector Salamanca’s bell?)

Second, once the piece is finished (again, if you get that far), you either give it to a beta reader or an editor. Prepare to be humiliated. Not that your beta/editor is doing it on purpose (usually), far from it. They are there to help. But about your lovely golden-y words, your figures of speech and witty conversations between your perfect, perfect, characters? They’re going to be cut, slashed and twisted. Shall I tell you why? When you sit in front of a blank screen and fill it with words, you are the wittiest, smartest, creativest (not a real word) person in the world. In fact, I feel exactly that way now as I type this. No one can write a blog post like I can! Bwuahahahaha! Bow to my wit and abjectly funny sentences.

Two Types of Criticism
This is where we come to the criticism part. There are two types and sometimes, it’s hard to tell them apart. In the previous paragraph, I speak about a beta reader or editor cutting and slashing your words so they are more cohesive and make sense. If you’ve selected your partners in crime carefully, they have nothing except positive thoughts, daisy, and hearts in their souls for you. They want you to do well. And while you weep at your precious words and sentences writhing on the floor, deep in your trembling heart, you know it’s for the best.

Every editor everywhere.

That’s constructive criticism. And if you get someone who is willing to read your stuff and give you clear-eyed and on point critique? Tie them up in the basement and never let them go. Well, maybe not the basement. Add an extra bedroom. These people are precious, and will you tell you like it is. We writers CRAVE this.

Then, there’s the other kind of criticism. This type if from people who don’t really know your voice, don’t know/understand your background and either don’t want to “get” you or don’t care if you succeed or not. These are the people who will read your stuff, then want you to change the name of a character because “they don’t like it”. Or, they don’t like both characters being in the same profession. Note: If a person gives a valid REASON as to why these things rng hollow in your writing, then that’s a different story (see what I did there?).

Now, none of this is as obvious as “I don’t like your writing”. It’s a more insidious form of criticism. It’s designed to tear you and your choices down, under the guise of “critique”. You want to know if your story resonated with people, not if one being an elementary school teacher and the other being a professor raises someone hackles. If it doesn’t make a difference in the story, then what of it?

Even better when they say “this story reminds me of xxxx”. Well, NATCH! There’s only so many stories to write, so many plots to twist, so many character traits to combine. Though the idea may be similar, the story is YOUR story and YOUR story only.

Dealing with Criticism
So, after all this chitter chatter, how are you to deal with this?
Keep your emotions in check. After all, even with the meanest (in your eyes) criticism, something good may be lurking in the wings. Don’t take it personally.

Ignore it and find another beta/editor. Not all beta/editors are created alike. Find someone who walks a balance between understanding what’s “popular” and understanding your way of creating. Sometimes they dovetail, sometimes they don’t.

Ask questions. Nothing stops someone in their critique tracks than asking the reasons behind a particular criticism. Sometimes you get something you can use, sometimes….yeah, you guessed it, you don’t. If you hear “I don’t like so and so’s name”. You ask, “Why don’t you like it? What effect does that have on the story?” If they can’t answer the second question to your satisfaction, then shine that ish on.

Be respectful and thank them. Even if you think what they said was more fit for a farm field than your ears, listen calmly and thank them for their feedback (after you’ve asked some probing questions). This is where your acting skills come into play!

All it all, it’s not SO tough being a writer. You get to wear what you want and if you’re like me, use writing time as an excuse to write the movie and TV shows you wish someone would write. For reals, tho, right?

Keep your head up and pen to paper. Until next time.

1Love

Image already added


Filed Under: Blogging, Real Talk Thursdays, Writing Tagged: black creatives, black women writers, dahlia dewinters, real talk thursday, w, writers, writing

Tip Tuesday – Make it Work with One Notebook

For those of you who’ve seen me flitting about on social media, especially Instagram, then you know how much I love my journals and notebooks. It is truly an affliction. I can’t resist the call of a beautiful looking journal, knowing I can fill its blank pages with my genius thoughts.

Once I get the journal home, it’s another story. The pages are so pretty and pristine, I am reluctant to sully them with my less than important. So, I put the date on the journal and place it on the shelf. It still looks pretty, but it’s unused.

What happens next? Well, I get into an organizing frenzy. Since I see so many journals on the shelf, I pick one for story ideas, one for daily to do lists and one for note taking. Since they’re so disparate, I do need the three journals, right? After about a week, that plan, as brilliant as I thought it was, is all shot to hell.

Enter 2018 and yet another renewed effort for organization. My daughter encouraged me to purchase yet another journal, because 1) she wanted one and 2) they were on sale for 4 dollars each with a coupon and 3) they were so pretty I couldn’t resist. Not only did I end up purchasing more journal-ly meth, I also drew my daughter into the dangerous world of stationery addictions.

My foolish family fuels my addictions!

When I got home, I determined that this HAD TO STOP! There was no way I could go on with piles of beautiful but blank journals. That’s not what they were made for. I needed to use them for their intended purpose.

And then, I watched a rerun of Breaking Bad. Hank is investigating the death of someone and it winds up they kept meth recipes, titration diagrams and vegan brownie recipes…in the same notebook. While this may seem minor, it was a true epiphany for me. I could use my journal in a multipurpose way.

Which notes do I write in this journal, you may ask?

No. I did not organize it. No, I didn’t do anything cute like those nifty bullet journals. As Dirty Harry said, “A man’s got to know his limitations.” I scribble book snippets that occur to me at odd times, partial grocery lists, passwords and story ideas. And guess what?

IT WORKS!

Not only am I keeping up with it after a full seven days (a record), I am saving so much time. Yes, I do have to flip through a few pages to find what I’m looking for, but that’s what stick flags are for. The point is, I KNOW the information is there because I KNOW I wrote it down. For a disorganized kinda gal like me, this is just so…..liberating!

Oh, yes, the tip for Tuesday? Try a one notebook approach! 

Shout out to Breaking Bad for the breakthrough! (See what I did there?)

How are you handling organization? Are you a journal person? A phone person? Let me know in the comments.

1Love
Dahlia


Filed Under: Blogging, Tip Tuesdays, Tuesdays, Writing Tagged: black creatives, black girl bloggers, black girl geeks, black girl nerds, black girls blog, black women bloggers, dahlia dewinters, darkindigohearts, journals, she writes, tip tuesday

5 Favorite Fun Christmas Songs

It’s getting closer!

Our tree is up and I have most of the presents I need to give.  Of course, I’ve got a ton of cooking to do, but, hey, I’ve got Saturday and Sunday.  No cooking, except for the turkey, I think, will be done on Christmas.  (Famous last words, right?)

I wanted to take this time to wish everyone a happy holiday and a restful one, too.  Having fun is part of the season, don’t let the mundane things drag you down.

Oh, yes, my list of my fun Christmas songs.  These are the songs that really pep me up – it’s not “officially” Christmas unless I can hear at least three out of these five songs.  Let’s begin, shall we?

If you missed my list of classic Christmas songs, do click here.

5.  Santa Claus is Coming to Town – Bruce Springsteen

I have to admit that this song makes me laugh every time I hear it.  It’s so ridiculous, with Bruce  yelling at the crowd and his band…honestly, he sounds as if he had a little too much “Christmas cheer”, but it’s definitely a fun song to listen to.

 

4.  All I Want for Christmas is You – Mariah Carey

I love Mariah.  She just doesn’t give a f*ck.  Diva was able to put a price on her time by getting a settlement from that millionaire fiance of hers.  Yes, she is a little loopy but I love her just the same. This is such a fun, bouncy, song that’s about loooooooove at Christmas.  It does a cold heart really good!

 

3.  Christmas Rap – The Waitresses

I am a child of the 80s, ’tis true. I didn’t really appreciate the song when it first came out – I thought it was kind of stupid.  But, as the years went by, it has grown on me and now I look forward to hearing it. Remember, they did the theme song for Square Pegs?

 

2.  Christmas in Hollis – Run DMC

Oh, yeah, did I mention I was a child of the 80s?  Here’s Run DMC’s version of a Christmas song.  And yes, I’ll be cooking collard greens.

 

1.  Santa Baby – Eartha Kitt

I grew up on Madonna and am so impressed at how long she was able to keep a career going, but her version is simply….not very good.  This is the unique Eartha Kitt (the best Catwoman), in a cute and sexy version of the song.

 

There you have it folks!

Have a lovely holiday!

1Love


Filed Under: 5 Favorites Friday, Blogging, Movies--Books--Music--Television, Music Tagged: Bruce Springsteen, Christmas, Christmas holiday, Christmas music, Christmas songs, dahlia dewinters, Eartha Kitt, Holiday Music, Mariah Carey, Santa Baby

5 Favorite Classic Christmas Songs

Season’s Greetings!

I enjoy Christmas. I love being with my family on the long stretch of holiday between Christmas and New Year’s. The cold, the snow, and the good food, (natch). It’s a wonderful time of year. The after-Christmas sales can’t be beat either.
One of the things I like most about the season is music. As a self-proclaimed music geek, I’ve played in orchestras and sung in a few chorus and choirs in my time, and the best music was always the winter music. Right now, I’m going to invite you to participate in the spirit of the season and check out my five favorite classic Christmas songs.

Little Drummer Boy – Version: The Harry Simeone Chorale
The voices in this arrangement are so soft and lovely, how could anyone not be affected by this music, I don’t know.  The message is so apt to Christmas too: “I am a poor boy too/I have no gift to bring…..Shall I play for you/On my drum? And at the end “…then he smiled at me….me and my drum.” No gift is too small if it’s from the heart.

 

 

Hallelujah Chorus – Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Sigh. While the high soprano notes (held over measures and measures) and the counterpoint of the tenors and basses are an earful to behold, the Hallelujah Chorus is actually part of the Easter portion of Handel’s Messiah, the part the section referencing the Passion/Resurrection/Pentecost. Still, it’s a lovely piece of music to listen to anytime.

 

Adeste Fideles (O Come All Ye Faithful) – Luciano Pavarotti
I have got the softest spot for tenors and Pavarotti is my favorites of favorites. A gorgeous song, beautifully arranged to suit his lovely voice. Love the soft Latin “g” in “regum angelorum”

 

O Holy Night – Placido Domingo/Luciano Pavarotti
Two tenors for the price of one. Listen, don’t look because the audio/video synchronization is a little off.

Angels We Have Heard on High
An ethereal rendition of a song loosely based on a French carol.

 

Stay tuned, for next week, I’ll list my five favorite “popular” Christmas tunes.

What are some of your favorite Christmas carols? Leave ‘em in the comments!

 

1Love,


Filed Under: 5 Favorites Friday, Blogging, Free For All Fridays Tagged: 5 favorites friday, Christmas carols, Christmas songs, dahila dewinters, favorites friday, luciano Pavarotti, Placido Domingo

5 Gifts for Writers

It’s that time of year again. Shoppers are hitting the stores and the Internet to look for the perfect gift for that special someone. Some of you lucky dogs out there have some stellar writers in your lives. I’m going to tell you what writers REALLY want for Christmas. Well, at least me.

Pens and Journals: Most writers love pens. Though we tend to dither between our beloved writing software, a writer almost always comes back to the pen and the paper, especially if experiencing a bout of writer’s block.  Pens make us feel like REAL writers, with a cigarette clenched between our teeth and a glass of bourbon at hand. Debauchery aside, the physical aspect of forming letters and words often is a trigger for ideas. Often, we get more words flowing on paper than we do sitting in front of the screen. In addition, pen/paper keeps us from the distractions of the Internet, and is portable. Sure, we can compose on the phone in our car, but it’s so much more lovely to write in a beautiful journal with a great pen.

Some of my favorites:

InkJoy Pens – The name says it all.  I simply love these pens.
Leatherette Journal with Magnet – Doesn’t have to be fancy to be useful.
Cherish You Journal – Pretty and practical
Moleskine Journals – Can’t go wrong with these.

Banned Books Mug – Out of Print

Beverage Containers: Not all writers drink coffee, true, some of us have Coca-Cola as their breakfast beverage (not me, of course, I have both!) However a beverage container is the writer’s true friend. We don’t have to get up to get our hydration/fuel/liquid courage to keep pushing forward in our work. Plus, the little sayings make us feel important.

Heat Activated Banned Books Mug – You can’t get any more writerly than this.

Inspiration Assistance: Sometimes our best ideas come to us when we’re in the shower, seriously! Well, yes, we DO get ideas OTHER places, but let’s keep it PG and simply suggest Aqua Notes, a little doodad that sticks to the wall in the shower.  Handy note taking at it’s finest, for sure!  The pencil is also included.  When I saw this little cool thing, I couldn’t resist putting it on my list. Writers will love this!  Aqua Notes

 

 

Totes, T-shirts, and Hoodies:   Working from home doesn’t afford us much chance to flex our fashion muscles. We do, however, enjoy cool accessories related to writing. And those accessories include T-shirts and hoodies, so we don’t get too cold as we hunch over our keyboards in the basement. Visit Out of Print for more goodies.

Where the Wild Things are Tote

Organizational Software:   Next to writing, the biggest task is research. How far can an eagle see? How much blood is in the human body? How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? We search every day for answers to these types of questions in order to make our writing as realistic as possible. Well, some writers do. (Yes, I’m throwing shade.) How do we keep all those links and cool websites in one place? Why Evernote, of course! Evernote has two levels – free and premium. Be a doll and gift your writer person a year of premium. They’ll have a year to figure out if they like using it, and if they do ,then they can pay for it themselves!

Evernote Premium

With a list like this, there’s no way you can go wrong with your writer gift giving this year.  Order early!

1Love


Filed Under: 5 Fandom Friday, Blogging Tagged: author, black girl nerds, blerd, dahlia dewinters, female geek bloggers, gifts for writers, writer, writing

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Next Page »

Find me Online!

RSS
Follow by Email
Facebook
Twitter
Follow Me
Tweet
YouTube
YouTube
Pinterest

Find what you’re looking for

This site is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. I make a small commision if you purchase through links on this site. Thank you.

Made With Love by Boutique Web Design Studio · Copyright © 2025

Copyright © 2025 · Mystic Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

 

Loading Comments...