the autopsy of jane doe

Title: The Autopsy of Jane Doe

Genre: Horror, Drama

Summary: A father and son, both coroners, are pulled into a complex mystery while attempting to identify the body of a young woman, who was apparently harboring dark secrets. (from IMDB)

Starring: Emile Hirsch and Brian Cox

Brian Cox is ‘that guy’ for me. I remember him as Daphne Moon’s gadabout father from Frasier and as Col Stryker from the first series of X-Men movies. I love the way he pops up as a villain or as a supporting character in the movies I enjoy watching. He has presence and improves any scene he appears in.

On the other hand, I only know Emile Hirsch from some strange movie called “Alpha Dog” in which he plays a kidnap “victim”. I can’t remember seeing him in anything much at all, although his IMDB resume reveals more than a few films and TV series. That being said, he does hold his own with the Scottish actor.

As father and son coroners hired to do an autopsy on an unidentified body found at a strange homicide where the victims seemed to be trying to get out of this creepy house. I liked the film from the start. The audience is shown the aftermath of a bizarre killing area, but are not really subjected to the gore that usually accompany such scenes. On the other hand, the mystery of what exactly happened hangs over the first part of the movie.

The setting is pretty perfect. This is not your white, brightly lit, coroners station that you see in Quincy or even Law and Order. No. This is a dark, almost dim operating room which makes one wonder how they even see each other, never mind the instruments they are supposed to use. On top of it all they’re doing the autopsy at night. Talk about a perfect storm. Oh, did I mention there is also a storm on the way?

Needless to say, the spooky stage is set and mysterious events start to occur. Now, as a rule, if the movie is good and begins well, I don’t spend my time second guessing the plot. I just enjoy the ride.

“Jane Doe” is that type of film. It sucks you in with the mystery and holds your attention to the very end. As you all know, I only watch horror movies during the day, but this one creeped me out especially. There’s a part near the end where you think everything is going to be okay….and it isn’t. It really, really wasn’t.

Suffice to say, this isn’t your average horror film. There is a lot of slow dread and great buildup. Weird things happen, things get smooth for a bit and more weird things happen. I liked the film. I liked the slow dread and the dynamic between the two actors, who work very well together.

Trivia: There is an actual actress who plays Jane Doe. She had to lie still for hours at a time to film the movie.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars. Highly recommended.

Title: The Ritual

Genre: Horror, Drama, Snoozefest

Summary: A group of college friends reunite for a trip to the forest, but encounter a menacing presence in the woods that’s stalking them. (from IMDB)

Starring: This Guy, That Guy, Glasses Guy, Red Coat Guy

Usually I’m down for a horror movie where the actors go on a hike and get lost in the woods. They can find anything there, from an evil killer, to a time loop or even a supernatural force that will tear them limb from limb. A good monster, such as Bigfoot or the Jersey Devil does well too. Alsi, alien invasions, government experiments gone wrong or mechanic cannibals.

Basically, anything. I’ve seen everything I’ve listed and more and have enjoyed the movie at one level or another.. or simply turned it off halfway through.

The Ritual is based on a book that my daughter is currently reading which I was unable to snatch from her fingers. She asked for it for Christmas, but she was so busy reading her novels for the Battle of the Books that I didn’t have the heart to take it from her and was too cheap to buy a Kindle copy.

The best horror movies can go one of two ways- you either care about the characters and hate seeing them in trouble, sitting through many nail biting moments, or you take the killing in stride and giggle gleefully as each person is picked off.

The Ritual, in short was neither of these. Despite some random chatter at the beginning which introduces us to the characters, immediate followed by a tragedy, I could not muster up any real emotion for the characters. So I settled into gleefully watch them wander around the woods and get picked off.

This was not to be. As a traditionally shot feature, I did not get the requisite introduction of the crew via straight talk to the camera. To me those are both fun and cheesy and allows you to bond (or not) with the character of your choosing.

Not only did I not feel a bond, the movie took a while to reach the action. After the tragedy, they go on the hike. Some introspection and discussion later, someone does something which then requires a shortcut to be taken. And I use the term ‘someone’ deliberately. I honestly could not tell one character from the other in tone. Though they all looked different, they all were so bland as to be basic clones of each other. I ended up labeling them “glasses guy”, “the one with the reddish coat” etc.

Whew, I think. The movie was finally getting underway. Boy was I wrong.

By the time they got to the meat of the movie, I was checking the time on my Ghost Rider watch. (A movie that I liked, by the way, in the face of much criticism.) Simply put, even the flashes of “something in the night”, growling and mysterious symbols on trees did nothing for me.

When you see what is really happening, the first thing I thought of was M. Night Shamalayan’s “The Village” and not in a good way. I kept wondering, if people were disappearing like this, would the authorities eventually send out search parties? Maybe things are different in Sweden.

By the final act of the movie, I just didn’t care. There was an inkling of sort of thought as to personal grief and soul-pain, but….not enough to redeem the movie. It was like The Village crossed with The Wicker Man on heroin. A huge snooze.

I can’t even recommend this for fun. Skip it. I’ll update the post when I read the book.