I watched Hollywood Squares as a child. Not the new and improved one, but the one with stars like Leslie Uggams, Charo, Florence Henderson, Wayland Flowers and Madam, and of course Paul Lynde as the center square. (As a side note, Paul Lynde voiced the character of Templeton the rat in the original, animated Charlotte’s Web.)
I remember Paul Lynde the best. Not only was he the center square, and thus the focus of attention, but he also seemed to make the audience laugh the most. Back then, I didn’t understand why what he said was so funny, but as an adult, I find myself actually laughing out loud at some of his jokes. Being a person who loves to share the wealth, especially when it comes to laughter, I decided to share some of his wittcisms with you. He was certainly quick on his feet if he was able to come up with these on the spot!
Note: Peter Marshall is the host/MC of the show.
Peter Marshall: What should you do if you’re going 55 miles per hour and your tires suddenly blow out?
Paul Lynde: Honk if you believe in Jesus.
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Peter Marshall: In a very famous movie who said, “God, what a dump?”
Paul Lynde: Dumbo.
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Peter Marshall: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn’t neglected!
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Peter Marshall: According to the song classic, “Things aren’t always as bad as they seem if you…” Do what?
Paul Lynde: Put a bag over her head.
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Peter Marshall: Paul, can anything bring tears to a chimp’s eyes?
Paul Lynde: Finding out that Tarzan swings both ways!
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Peter Marshall: What do you call a man who gives you diamonds and pearls?
Paul Lynde: I’d call him “darling”!
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Peter Marshall: You get a headache right after romance. According to Dr. Thotusen, is there anything wrong with you?
Paul Lynde: No, but I need a softer headboard.
Hope you enjoyed this little ray of sunshine!
Thank you for the trip down memory lane! I loved Hollywood Squares. I never missed a show. I was always on the floor cracking up. I still remember Tim Conway and Ruth Buzzi! You never knew what they were going to do. They had me rolling! Sigh…those were some fun times!
Belinda G